


The Map Is Not The Territory

by Tamoline



Series: The Map Is Not The Territory [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A certain amount of Kara/Mon-El in this, And it's a decidedly alt Mon-El who hopefully isn't close to being an arsehole, Asexual adjacent, Because honestly I'm just not interested in writing that for this story, F/F, Gen, Not end game, Surprising amounts of sex given the previous tag, Why did I add so many subplots?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9792899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamoline/pseuds/Tamoline
Summary: Kara is having problems figuring herself out. James is grappling with being CatCo CEO. Alex is having problems with the DEO now being publicly accountable. And Mon-El is having problems finding out exactly what he wants to do.But, seriously, Kara is having problems figuring herself out. Maybe Lena can help? Or maybe she can help Lena? It's really hard to tell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is some Kara/Mon-El in this. While I have very limited patience for it in the series, it's... actually kind of plot necessary in this? Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are. It will also not be appearing in the first chapter and only relatively lightly throughout. No character bashing though.
> 
> This is mid-season 2-ish in flavour, by which I mean that Kara and James have broken up, Kara is vaguely contemplating going out with Mon-El but hasn't yet, but there has also been some.. advancement in the state of affairs.
> 
> For those who have read it, Literally Not Your Only Friend in lightly modified form will appear in chapter 2.

It’s late at night, and Kara is feeling restless.

Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. Normally, if she was feeling like this, she’d phone Alex and they’d talk, maybe Alex would come over, and everything would be fine.

But Kara’s trying to turn over a new leaf, not be so needy. Besides, Alex probably has Maggie over, or maybe Maggie has Alex over, and in any case Kara has no intention of getting in the middle of that.

She could try and text Winn, but he’s probably either busy gaming or maybe even having an early night. James… is still a complicated subject she isn’t quite comfortable touching at the moment. And Mon-El is a whole other kind of complicated she doesn’t particularly feel like facing just at the moment.

Which is all a roundabout way of convincing herself that she’s totally got a good reason for disturbing Lena, who had been still at L-Corp when Kara had peeked whilst on patrol, and that had been just past nine.

_Still up?_ she texts.

There’s a few minutes pause, Kara fiddling with her phone impatiently, before the message registers as read and the dots appear indicating Lena’s responding.

_Something like that_ is the eventual response. 

Kara can’t help rolling her eyes a little and calls Lena rather continue this by text. “Made it home yet?” she asks, trying not to sound like nagging mother, not quite certain whether she succeeds. This thing, this friendship, is still so new that she’s still finding out the boundaries, uncertain whether or not she’s overstepping.

“Something like that,” Lena says, though from the acoustics Kara’s willing to bet she’s still at work, but her tone is enough to get Kara to relax, to reassure her that this, at least, is something she’s gotten right.

“Uhuh,” she says, sceptically, offset a little by the laughter she doesn’t even try to keep from bubbling out. “You can’t see it, but I’m totally judging you.”

“Hey,” Lena says mildly before there’s the distant sound of a muffled yawn. “Okay,” she says. “Maybe you have a point.”

“So?”

“Okay, okay, I’m off home.”

“So what were you working on?” Kara asks quickly, before Lena can hang up on her. The restless feeling still hasn’t left her, like she needs to do something, connect with someone for longer before it’ll fade.

She really sucks at being alone, for all that she really needs to learn how to live like that. She’s had Alex more or less to herself for far too long now, and she needs to step back a bit so Alex can spread her wings.

Because, Rao, once Alex does, oh how she’ll fly.

There’s a crackling sound and when she hears Lena’s voice again, it has a different quality. Maybe a headset? “Just some science stuff,” she says. “Being CEO doesn’t leave me that much time to potter around with my first love any more.”

“So you’re cheating on your spouse with your ex?” Kara asks not entirely sincerely and she doesn’t even have to see Lena to know that she is giving her the Eyebrow. “So, what science stuff is the brilliant brain of Lena Luthor working on now?”

There’s a pause and Kara wishes that she could see Lena’s face right now. “It’s still in the early stages,” Lena eventually says, cautiously, almost rote like. “Nothing I’m willing to have announced to the public.”

“I wouldn’t,” Kara says at the same time Lena says, “I’m sorry.” They both pause before Lena continues on, her voice conciliatory, apologetic. “That was… I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. It’s just something of a white whale of mine, and I didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you.”

“It’s… it’s no problem,” Kara says. “I really wasn’t trying to pry and definitely not for Catco. It’s just…” she tilts her head contemplatively, looking out of the window. Not quite focussing on Lena, but not not looking in that direction either. “Talking about that part of your work, your little projects. It’s the most enthusiastic I see you.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Lena says dryly and there’s a note in her voice that Kara can’t quite identify. “So I take it from your attempts to prolong this conversation that you’d like to come over.”

Kara grins, relaxed again now that they’re on a more familiar footing. “Or you could come over here,” she offers.

“I’m the one with the comfier furniture.”

“My couch has character,” Kara protests, feeling obliged to stand up for the honour of her home. She can’t manage to make her protestations too hard though - she has to admit Lena’s couch feels like a dream.

“Which is another word for lumpy,” Lena says dryly. “Not to mention that if it gets too late, I’m the one with the guest room.”

“I guess I’ll just have to give in,” Kara says happily enough.

“Always words I like to hear. I’ll see you there in half an hour?”

“See you then!” Kara said and rang off.

Half an hour later she’s in front of the door to Lena’s apartment, bag of takeout in one hand. Lena opens the door and gives her the Eyebrow. “I take it you’re continuing the tradition of making feeding me your excuse to squeeze an extra meal in?’

Kara grins at her unrepentantly. “Are you saying that you’ve already had dinner this evening?”

“And spoil your pleasure at being able to combine mothering me *and* stuffing your face? Perish the thought,” Lena says, ushering Kara in and closing the door behind her.

The couch already has a tray laying down the middle of it, just waiting for Kara to fill it with the containers from the bag. Once they’re settled, Lena puts the TV on, apparently in no mood to talk. She often isn’t and that’s… that’s alright. Kara doesn’t need speech to unwind, to relax. At least, not always. And today there’s nothing she absolutely needs to speak about. She just needs the human presence to feel less restless. Lena puts on Stargate - apparently at some point in the recent past she decided that she wanted to start a watch through. Kara’s happy to just relax - she’s already been treated to the entire series, all three series actually, courtesy of Winn.

Lena absently grazes whatever Kara hasn’t already pillaged, enough that Kara doesn’t feel too unjustified in finishing off the rest, then lowering the tray to the floor she can curl up against Lena, the contact flooding her with warmth and just nice in a way that even just Lena’s presence isn’t. She’s so glad that the brief crush she had on Lena has subsided, replaced by this far more comfortable sensation. By the time the first episode ends, she’s feeling warm and content, no longer jittery.

She doesn’t manage to stay awake long enough to see the end of the second.

When she wakes up, to the sound of an insistent phone alarm, it’s morning, it’s to find that she’s still on the sofa, it’s to find Lena still beneath her.

For a moment English refuses to kick in for her and she flails for the first word available. “Gosh,” is what comes out and Lena quirks an amused eyebrow at her. “Sorry?” she tries, pushing herself up off the couch, off Lena’s lap. “You should have woken me up, kicked me out. At least shown me the spare room.”

“You looked so peaceful, so cute,” Lena says dryly. “How could I bear to?”

Kara blushes, completely incapable of controlling her face at this time in the morning. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so nice to curl up on then,” she accuses.

“Ah yes, my soft and unprickly demeanour for which I am so famed.” The way Lena says it makes Kara want to hug her, to assure her that no, Kara doesn’t find her hard or off-putting whatsoever, that in fact she’s almost an oasis of comfort at the moment in a world that seems determined to tilt ever more away from the familiar one Kara is used to.

But she’s not sure how to say that, is in fact fairly sure that Lena wouldn’t want her to even try, so instead she merely smiles softly and says, “Well, thank you for the use of your couch and lap for the night.”

Lena waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t mention it. Really. I would offer you breakfast, but I’m fairly sure that I don’t have enough in at the moment to satisfy that void in your midsection that you call a stomach.”

“You know me so well,” Kara says, grinning as her stomach rumbles. She straightens her clothing as much as she can, drags a brush through her hair. Lena’s disappeared off to her bathroom, so she yells, “Bye,” and disappears off to her apartment to get ready for the day.

* * * * * * * * * * * 

“Hi!” Kara says, wending her way into James’ office.

“Kara!” James says. “And you’ve brought… food.”

Kara hopes her smile doesn’t look as awkward as it feels. “It’s… nostalgia. I missed getting lunch for the CEO of CatCo. That isn’t weird, is it? Oh my gosh, it’s totally weird.”

“A little,” James admits then quirks a smile. “But I don’t mind your weird. And, hey, you remembered my order.”

“How could I forget?” Kara asks, flinging a hand up in the air. “After all, we…” She aborts the first thing she was going to say and settles on, “used to have lunch together,” and immediately winces because, honestly, that wasn’t much better.

From the pained expression James is sporting he feels the same way.

Ugh. When did hanging out with just him become so hard? 

Okay, silly question. Why did she have to be so… so… terrible? She had been crushing on him for so long, felt that sweet pain in her chest for, like, months. She had been so *sure* that it’d work with him - she’d actually managed to crush on someone who liked her back, long enough for it to fully develop, not so long it had disappeared completely. She’d even pursued him rather than letting herself be pursued. He’d even known who she was ahead of time which was… a whole load of problems that she wouldn’t have had to deal with.

But almost as soon as it actually looked like it was becoming real… bam, she didn’t feel the crush any more. It had still been nice, being around him. She’d still looked forward to it. But there had been no zing, not any more, and she’d… she’d kind of panicked. What’s wrong with her? Is it a kryptonian thing that she’d never heard about because she hadn’t been old enough? Is it just a her thing? Is it a combination of the above?

Why don’t her emotions make sense? If there’s a word for them in any language, she doesn’t know what it is.

After chewing silently for a minute, James breaks the quiet. “So, you’ll never guess what Bryce tried to sneak into publication yet again practically as soon as I was no longer Art Director,” he says and pushes a photo spread her way. 

She scans over the possible crime against good taste in one corner. “Really?” she snorts. “Is that- he’s still trying to get his nephew that coverage, isn’t he?” She shouldn’t laugh. It’s *mean*. His nephew is *nice*. Just… not much of a photographer.

James grins sidelong at her and sways in as if he’s going to nudge her… only to jerk to a halt just shy of her. As if that isn’t just a metaphor for where they’re currently at.

The worst part is that he still makes her smile. If it wasn’t so awkward - if she hadn’t made it so awkward - seeing him, just the two of them, would still probably be one of the highlights of her day.

“I can’t believe that Diaz let that get as far as you,” Kara says, trying gamely to resuscitate the conversation.

James shrugs. “Thought I’d keep an eye on what was happening with the old team,” he says offhandedly.

Kara bites her lip, doesn’t ask how he has that much time, between his duties as CEO and his night time jaunts as Guardian. Doesn’t know if she’s even allowed to ask those kinds of questions any more. Looks for something else to say, fails. In the end, they finish eating in somewhat awkward silence. “Well, bye!” Kara says, waving exaggeratedly at him and almost dashing out of his office.

Why did she have to be so gosh-darned terrible at this?

* * * * * * * * * * * 

When she wakes up from her place on Lena’s side - again, after another late night visit - she’s not quite sure what disturbs her. It’s not her phone. She sharpens her hearing, but it’s not a siren or other sounds of incipient chaos. It’s…

She frowns. The body her head is resting upon - Lena’s - isn’t taking the long, slow breaths of restful sleep, but the short, quick, quiet ones of someone who is terrified. She quickly looks around - there’s nothing obviously amiss - before risking a glance up at Lena. Her eyes are still shut. It’s a nightmare. For a second Kara feels relief, that she doesn’t have to try and engage in heroics whilst protecting her identity, before her brain engages with the problem at hand.

Nightmares. 

She can handle nightmares.

She has handled nightmares.

She can do it for someone else.

She shakes Lena to wake her, First gently, then slightly harder, calling her name all the while.

Nothing works. If anything, Lena seems stiffer, more in distress.

This is almost like a nightmare itself.

What would Alex do? Oh yes.

She casts a glance around, locating a half empty glass of water. She splashes Lena’s face with some, like Alex had always done for her, albeit more carefully and at a much closer distance than Alex had ever been able to safely to.

Lena goes absolutely rigid, her breathing ceasing, biting her lip so hard Kara thinks she might have even drawn blood.

Oh Rao, Kara thinks and slowly levers herself away from Lena, moving as slowly as she can. “Lena,” she says softly, gently, gently as she can. “It’s me, Kara. You’re safe. You’re in your apartment and you’re safe.” She keeps on murmuring until Lena lets her breath out with an explosive hiss and relaxes. 

A little. She jerks her gaze away from Kara though.

Kara looks at her cautiously whilst Lena’s breathing slowly returns to normal, uncertain what to do, what Lena would want her to do. After a few unbearable minutes whilst Lena seemingly does her best to pretend that Kara doesn’t exist, Kara quietly asks, “Do you want me to leave?”

“Sure,” Lena says brittlely. “Go ahead, leave.”

Kara huddles in on herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, gathering her things. “If there’s anything I can do… If you decide that you want company at all. At any point! Just… call me, and I’ll be back as soon as I can get here.”

Lena nods jerkily, water still dripping a little from her hair, still refusing to look in her direction and Kara takes her leave. She’s flown almost home - after a quick circuit just to settle her nerves - before her phone vibrates.

_I’m sorry_  
_I shouldn’t have made you leave in the middle of the night like that_  
_You can come back upstairs_  
_If you haven’t already caught a cab_  
_If you want_

Kara hovers there in midair for a minute, uncertain. Does Lena actually want her there, or is she just being polite? In the end, she really doesn’t have a choice. She’s too worried about Lena to not to go back.

_Be back shortly_ , she texts. When the phone buzzes again she ignores it.

She waves at the- doorwoman? when she gets to the apartment block, who looks dourly at her for a solid thirty seconds before finally calling Lena’s apartment when it’s clear she isn’t going to budge. A few seconds later she’s nodding and buzzing Kara through.

Lena’s waiting at the apartment door when the elevator arrives at the top floor, looking more tired than Kara’s ever seen her. But she’s at least focussing on Kara again, which relieves her more than she can say.

“Sorry,” Kara says.

Lena’s hand makes an abortive move towards her face before stilling. “No,” she says, tiredly. “It’s not your fault.” She gestures Kara in before shutting the door behind her, relaxing a little as she sinks onto it. “I shouldn’t have- The spare room. Take it.”

Kara regards her carefully. Lena’s body language isn’t defensive, doesn’t feel like it’s pushing her away any more. She advances a half step, arms open. “Do you mind?” she asks.

Lena looks away, doesn’t say anything, but gives a slight shake of her head and Kara takes it as permission to take another step forwards and wrap her arms around Lena. “I was so worried about you,” she mumbles into Lena’s hair.

“I thought I said you should come back if you haven’t already caught a cab,” Lena says.

“I hadn’t gotten that far,” Kara says, fibbing only a little.

Lena pushes her away then leads her through the apartment. When she’s in front of the spare room though, Lena - without looking at Kara - gently takes her by the hand, so loosely that she’s sure that even a human would have no problems pulling free - and tugs her towards the main bedroom. Kara takes a look at Lena’s rigid back and lets herself be guided without saying a word.

After they get there, after Kara’s shimmied on a nightie that Lena has wordlessly lent her, after they’re lying down in bed, Kara facing Lena’s back, but before Lena’s breath has evened out, Kara whispers, “If I have to… wake you up, how should I do it?”

There’s a long moment of silence. Then, without looking back, Lena says quietly. “Take my hand. Gently. Talk to me softly. That’s how… it used to be done.”

There’s a gap there in which whole worlds could fit, which Kara’s almost dying to ask about, but not tonight, not in the fragile peace that has fallen between them. “Okay,” she says and settles down to sleep.

She might be next to helpless in preventing nightmares, but she can do this.

She can do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This is definitely the first time I've had as many subscriptions as I have kudos for a story. Even more subscriptions for a substantial amount of time. I'm... not entirely sure what to make of that, though I'm definitely happy with the amount of kudos I'm getting for the number of hits. 
> 
> If anyone has a better idea for the summary than what I've thought up, please let me know. :)
> 
> This chapter does contain a lightly rewritten Literally Not Your Only Friend.

“Ugh,” Alex says, glaring out of the window at the protesting crowds surrounding the building. “I take it that it’s completely out of the question to go down and zap them just a little bit.”

“Hush,” Kara says, batting at her playfully. “You’ve got to take the bad with the good.”

“I have yet to see any good out of the DEO becoming a public governmental organisation,” she says sourly.

It’s one of the less expected pieces of fallout from the President’s act. A pro-alien Senator on the Intelligence Committee had leaked the existence of the DEO to the public, on the premise that since aliens could now become citizens, they should equally be eligible for due process rather than indefinite detainment in black sites. Which means they all have pending trials to determine if they’re actually found guilty and what their jail time should be.

Lucy has been tearing out her hair. Kara hasn’t seen her in weeks.

Kara has… mixed feelings on the subject. On the one hand, she certainly agrees with the principle that alien sentients should have rights equal to a human. And on that basis, they certainly do deserve their day in court. On the other, she’d put many of the aliens there herself, and they were definitely guilty of various criminal acts so she can’t help feeling that they shouldn’t just walk free because the rules have changed.

Not that it’s up to her, of course.

And the crowds outside seem to be as equally mixed. Half of them are there protesting the existence of ’Alien Guantamano’ , and the other half are protesting that these ‘Super-Criminals’ are being kept somewhere as unsafe as US soil. ‘They didn’t come in peace - send them back in pieces’ one particular obnoxious sign reads.

“Well, maybe there’ll be less talk radio shows railing against letting an illegal alien act as protector to National City?” Kara tries.

“Ugh. Don’t even remind me about Steve Jones. And you’re not illegal.”

“It’s a bit hard to prove that without revealing my secret identity. Now I don’t have to.”

“I’d hoped he would quieten down once Luthor Corp stopped buying all that advertisement time on his station.” Alex squints. “You don’t suppose that Lena is still funding him?”

“Pfft, no. She wouldn’t do that.” Alex looks like she’s about to debate this, so Kara attempts to change the subject. “Look on the bright side - you can get away from it all when you give that press conference in a few hours.”

Alex groans and headbutts Kara’s shoulder gently. “I can’t believe that J’onn palmed those duties off on me. And I guess you’ll also disapprove if I taze the journalists.”

“So much,” Kara says grinning. “But if you’re good, I might lob a few softball questions your way.”

“Ugh,” Alex says again, then brightens. “Maybe there’ll be an alien incident I have to deal with, and I can send Vasquez in my place.”

“Not on your life,” Vasquez calls cheerfully from across the room. “Sir.”

“Maybe a sprained shoulder…” Alex says thoughtfully. “Hey Kara, feeling like a quick training session?”

“Maggie might have words with me if I did,” Kara says.

“I guess,” Alex says. “I mean, she does have uses for my arm.” She waggles her eyebrows at Kara.

Kara blushes brightly and shoves her. “Ugh. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Still, I guess you could look forward to your evening with her as a reward for getting through this afternoon.”

Alex looks contemplative before noticing the time. “Got to dash. Um, see you tomorrow?”

Kara gives her a half wave. “Tomorrow.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“-If you really want to see what the conditions inside our cells look like, I’d more than happy to show you.”

“Uhuh,” Lena says, distractedly as she types away on her laptop then blinks. “Wait, what?”

Kara slaps her lightly on the leg from her place curled up on Lena’s side. “So much for Ms ‘Of course I can pay attention whilst I just finish up some reports for the board.’”

“I caught the gist of what you were saying.”

“Fibber,” Kara says fondly. “So what was I-?”

She’s interrupted by the sound of an incoming Skype call on Lena’s laptop, and straightens up as Lena waves her out of sight of the camera. It isn’t as though she didn’t know what she was signing up for when she managed to bust Lena out of work before nine o’clock. Or at least that’s what Kara assumes until Lena says, “Winn.”

For a moment Kara’s mind pinwheels. She must have misheard. Lena must just know someone else by that name. Something else, anything else. But then a very familiar voice says, “Have you got to the series three finale yet? Isn’t it as epic as I claimed?”

“Hi, Winn,” Kara chirps as she pops her head into view.

Winn looks momentarily poleaxed. “Hey… Kara. What a surprise to see you there.”

“So I take it that I have you to thank for the late night Stargate sessions.”

Winn waves his finger between them. “So are you two a thing now? Actually friends?” He gasps, pressing a hand to his mouth. “Are… are you sci-fi two-timing me with Lena?”

“Technically all I’ve seen so far are things you’ve already shown me.”

“Have you seen Solaris yet?” Lena asks Kara, amused. “Because I guess I could pencil that in for the weekend.”

Winn makes a sound that’s almost a shriek. “Clooney or Tarkovsky?”

Lena looks like she’s considering for a moment. “Honestly, I was thinking about putting them both on, and contrasting.”

“So how did you two start talking to each other?” Kara interrupts, sensing that unless she does, she might well be witness to a nerd face off for the next half hour. Not that it wouldn’t be adorable, but there are questions that must answered here.

Lena’s and Winn’s eyes focus on her for a moment, before drifting back towards each other.

“Well, after we met at that fundraiser she threw for the children’s hospital…” Winn starts.

“I tracked him down after he’d hacked into the L-Corp network one too many times,” Lena says bluntly.

“That is not-“ Winn protests. “You did not- I *let* you find me!”

“Really?” Lena asks. Kara can’t help thinking it’s nice that someone else is getting the Eyebrow for once.

“I only let your locator program track me down once I knew who you were.”

“So you say.”

“It’s true,” Winn insists, the pitch of his voice rising.

“So. You. Say.”

Winn subsides in a huff for a moment before perking up again. “Speaking of hacking the L-Corp mainframe, the control software for your latest series of drones needs some serious work.”

Lena stares at him. “One day, I’m just going to hand you your own username and password to the network, and spoil all of your fun.”

“You wouldn’t! Anyway, I’ve made a shelf set with some suggested fixes.”

“I’ll be sure to pass it on,” she says dryly.

They continue bickering for a little while longer, apparently neither needing nor wanting any input from Kara. When Lena signs off, Kara is unable to stop from squealing a little.

“You and Winn were *so* cute.”

Lena freezes before assuming what Kara privately calls her corporate face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Come on, you two were totally flirting.”

Something complex ripples beneath Lena’s expression for a moment. “I can assure you that whatever you thought you saw was purely unintentional. From my side at least.”

Kara thinks it’s a pity - seriously, so cute - but, well, it’s not as though she doesn’t know from experience that that kind of thing can’t be forced. “Oh well,” she says. “I guess I better make sure he knows that.”

“Thanks,” Lena says. “It’s not as though I don’t like him, but not like that.” She pauses for a second, before looking Kara dead in the face. “Actually, I don’t really like men in general like that.”

“Oh,” Kara blinks, then perks up. “Do you like women, then?”

Lena lets a slow smile spread across her face. “Some women, sure.”

“Oh,” Kara chirrups. “That’s great. My sister’s a lesbian. I’ll totally have to get you together at some point.”

It’s Lena’s turn to blink. “Are you… trying to set me up with your sister now? I don’t exactly have time for a girlfriend right at the moment.”

“No!” Kara is a little appalled. “She’s got a girlfriend. It’s just… being aware that she’s gay is new to her, and she could probably do with a few more friends who get it.”

“Not every lesbian has to be friends with every other one,” Lena says, then subsides, “We’ll see,” she continues in the face of Kara’s puppy dog stare.

Kara happily settles back down next to her. “So,” she says. “I guess I’m not literally your only friend in National City anymore.”

Lena gives her a sidelong smile, softer than Kara’s really used to from her. “No, but you’re still my best one.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Winn! So how are you doing today?” Kara asks, plopping a bag of donuts down in front of Winn.

He looks suspiciously up at her. “You’re bringing me food. Sugary food at that.” He squints at her. “What’s the bad news?”

“Wha- Pft. Bad news? There’s no bad news. Can’t I just drop in on one of my best friends without an ulterior motive?”

Winn fishes a donut out of the bag and starts nibbling on it. “See? I’m having one of your bad news donuts. Hit me with it?”

“You seemed fairly friendly with Lena last night…”

He glances around, looking a little panicked, before leaning in. “Hush! You can’t say that around here. Alex might hear!” He pauses for a minute. “Although you seemed fairly chummy with her yourself.” He gasps. “Is that your bad news? Is she in danger of replacing me as best friend?”

“Hah,” she says, draping an arm around him. “No chance of that.”

Though a little guilty part of her does wonder. Lena has become so important to her, so quickly… But there’s always going to be room for Winn. She can’t imagine her life without him.

“You’re doing a good thing,” she says quietly. “Lena… Lena doesn’t have many people she can unwind with like that.”

“Hah,” he says. “Amazingly attractive woman, razor sharp mind with a gift for tech that rivals mine. It’s such a *chore* to hang out with her online.”

And there it is. The thing she has to say. “You do know that she’s not into you in any way apart from for your brain,” she says, unable to meet his gaze. “And your friendship, of course.”

“Yeah,” he says, a little wistfully. “I figured. I couldn’t imagine someone like her being into someone like me.”

Oh.

She hugs him firmly, trying to ease his slightly shaking body. “That’s not true. She’d be lucky to have you, it’s just…” And it’s at that point she realises his shaking is actually suppressed laughter and she pushes him away in disgust. “You… you utterly mean person! You had me so worried about you!”

“Sorry,” he says in between cackles. “Sorry. But your face…” He manages to mostly stop laughing and clearly attempts to look offended. “But, seriously, did you really think I didn’t know what kind of people she was into? I hacked her social media accounts months ago, when we were first investigating her.”

Kara actually starts to feel a little offended on Lena’s behalf. “That isn’t very nice…”

Winn does actually have the grace to look a little ashamed. “It’s why I never mentioned it. It’s never seemed relevant to anything important. But routine violations of privacy R US around here, always have been.” He sighs. “Though we have to get court orders now, however easy FISA makes that.”

Kara has… definitely mixed feelings about that, but she supposes that’s the price she has to pay for the invaluable support Winn and the DEO has given her since she joined up with them. “So you’re fine?” she asks, just to make sure.

“Never better,” he says, then takes another look around. “Unless Alex gets to hear about it.”

Kara smiles. “My lips are sealed.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

It’s surprisingly nice, walking along the road arm in arm with Mon-El. It isn’t actually anything new, being more pursued than pursuer, but there’s a comfort in that when getting back on the horse after James. Less potential for disappointment if nothing else. Not to mention that Mon-El has certain other advantages… but her mind shies away from thinking about that too much.

“So…” Mon-El says. “What kind of thing does someone do next on a date?”

Kara snorts. “Given all the women I saw you…” she waves her hands around in the air, “I thought you would almost have a better idea about that than me.”

“Unless I’ve misunderstood these Earth customs completely, there wasn’t much in way of what you would call dating there.” He brightens. “Unless you want to skip straight to the kissing and the sex. I’m good with that too.”

Kara slaps him gently, then slaps him again, harder, actually using her strength a little, just because she can. “Ugh, no. No kissing or… or stuff. Not that we’re even dating yet. More… pre dating, getting to know each other.” She pauses for a moment. “What would you have done on Daxam?”

He just looks at her a moment, seemingly non-plussed, then laughs, a little awkwardly. “Honestly I didn’t do much of anything you could call dating there either.”

Kara snorts again. “I can’t quite imagine you being celibate for some reason.”

Mon-El coughs. “I didn’t say celibate. Just not much in the way of-“ He cuts off, looks around. “Did you hear that?”

Kara is about to chide him for the least subtle subject change *ever* when she catches it too. The sound of violence. She grins at him. “Race you there?” she asks but zooms off before he can answer.

When she gets to the source of the sounds, there are three men kicking a shape on the ground in an alleyway. “Excuse me,” she says as she floats down, shoving one man gently so he goes flying through the air and into a wall. “Really?” she asks as another breaks a makeshift club over her head before she kicks his feet out from under him. The third goes running for the entrance to the alley when Mon-El arrives, saying, “Save some for- Oh, thanks,” he says, sticking his arm out so the unfortunate assailant clotheslines himself. “It’s so nice when they save you effort like that.”

“Are you alright?” Kara asks the shape on the floor. It’s… not human. Distinctly not human unless someone was really squinting. In bad light. Preferably with extreme short sightedness and without their glasses. More insectile than anything else. A few of its plates are cracked and leaking ichor, but it doesn’t say anything apart from making a few clicks.

“Well that was fun,” Mon-El says, appearing beside her. “Now we… phone the… police?” He looks down at the huddled shape before them. “And the doctors.”

“I’m not sure they’ll be able to do too much,” Kara says.

“They’re doctors. It’s their job to know how to handle the occasional offworlder.” Kara is about to explain that on Earth doctors usually aren’t that… cosmopolitan when Mon-El starts signing at the alien, who signs back. “Huh. Apparently he doesn’t want us to call any attention to him.” The alien gestures angrily in the direction of the man Kara launched against the wall… who has collapsed on top of a large cardboard box, spilling cracked resin and wet mucous everywhere. “And… we’ve apparently also destroyed his home.” 

“Can you apologise to him for me?”

Mon-El signs some more at the alien.

“Where did you learn his language?”

“Well, it’s not exactly his language - more of a common method of communication - and I learned it when I was… accompanying the prince on a pleasure cruise. In preparation for that pleasure cruise, I mean,” he says distractedly. “Because only an idiot would wait until the cruise itself to learn how to communicate with half the staff.,” he says a little bitterly. “And… apparently he’s not interested in enough money to get him a room for the night, so… I’ve offered him a place to stay for the night?” He looks over at her, clearly hoping for praise.

She smiles softly at him. Whatever else she can say about Mon-El, he’s clearly trying. “That’s very nice of you. Do you want me to carry him?”

Another quick flurry of signing. “Apparently he prefers the big fleshy one to do the carrying.”

Kara can’t help making something of a sour face at that, but, feeling a surge of affection for him, for his clear attempt to *try* if nothing else, pulls Mon-El in for a hug and a press of her lips to his cheek. “So, I guess this is a good place to say goodnight,” she says and gives him a final hug before he picks up the alien and starts down the alley with him in his arms until he moves out of sight.

It’s really not the way she’d envisaged this… pre-date ending. But it’s better. Definitely better.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara wakens to the sound of Lena whimpering.

She’s gotten good at this, over the last several weeks and around twice that many nightmares. Possibly aided by the fact that she’s been spending more and more late nights over at Lena’s recently. Partially because she’s worried about her, can help someone who’s quickly becoming one of her best friends by doing this. Partially because she’s finding that she’s enjoying Lena’s company more and more.

Partially, she has to admit, because of the dearth of other options for an evening. Winn and James are often out, she still doesn’t want to impose on Alex and Mon-El is… there’s always the unspoken social pressure when she’s with him.

Still, Lena - despite her sometime prickly demeanour - has yet to complain about the frequency, for which Kara is grateful.

But, yes, whimpering.

She pads into Lena’s room - not too quickly, not too quickly - and takes her hand gently and starts whispering to her. Not about anything in particular, nonsense really, just whatever flits into her head.

She can do this. She can help Lena like this. She may not be able to solve anything, but she can definitely ameliorate it.

The fact that the whimpering has a different quality does register, but what it might mean doesn’t… until Lena, still sleeping, pulls her hand down towards her crotch.

Oh.

*Oh*.

Kara squeaks almost loud enough to break glass and pulls her hand back. Lena starts awake. For a minute Kara and Lena just look at each other, Kara not quite sure what to say or do, and Lena obviously still in the middle of waking up.

Lena’s cheeks flame and she looks away. “I’m sorry,” she says stiffly. “It’s been some time since I’ve had a girlfriend, or even time for something… less involved than that.”

“I can help,” Kara says, then feels her own cheeks turn crimson. “Not with the girlfriend thing, of course. But the…” she waves vaguely in the direction of Lena’s crotch. “I can help with that.”

She can’t quite believe the words that are coming out of her mouth, but the nightmares she can only salve. This, though, this is a problem she can actually solve.

Lena’s mouth works for a beat or two before she nods jerkily. “If you’re sure,” she says and her voice is raspier than before.

“I might need some guidance?”

Lena responds by sliding down her pyjama bottoms. Kara’s feeling… kind of weird actually. 

Disconnected. 

Like this isn’t quite real.

Normally when she’s around someone who’s naked, even a boyfriend, she’s constantly second guessing herself. Is she reacting too much, not enough? Is she staring? Is she not looking? Are any of her reactions wrong? What should she be doing?

It’s… she tends to be a bit of a blushing mess.

But this… she can just relax with this. This isn’t about her, about anything she has to do or not do.

It’s just her, making Lena feel good. It’s simple in a way that sex isn’t.

“I like my breasts being stroked,” Lena whispers, having divested herself of her top as well. 

Kara reaches forward, lets her fingers graze them lightly. It’s just flesh, she doesn’t have to make herself feel anything. Lena shudders lightly, but says, “Harder,” and Kara complies.

“Would you… would you bite them?” 

Kara answers with her mouth.

“My clitoris, would you stroke it?” It’s already wet down there, gets more so as Kara works.

It’s not all easy going, of course. Kara messes up the rhythm and pressure more than once - she’s so capable of destruction that she worries, she worries. But - all in all - it’s… fun. It feels good - she feels good - that she’s been able to help Lena like this, like their light is reflecting off each other. And - not that this is sex - but it’s something that she never thought she’d think about anything even vaguely related to sex involving someone else. 

“Can I reciprocate?” Lena asks, her eyes dark with need after Kara’s brought her to climax.

For a moment Kara’s tempted to accept, the persistent hope that this time, with this person it might be different burning inside her. But no, the desire not to ruin this… this… whatever it is like that wins out.

She yawns and shakes her head. At first it’s fake but all too soon her tiredness catches up with her and it becomes real. “Thanks, though,” she says and goes to get up, but Lena takes hold of her arm - gently enough that even as a human Kara would be able to break it - and rolls over, clearly indicating her preference for where Kara stays the night.

Kara… can’t complain. Lena’s bed is certainly more luxurious than the guest one. And the company makes her happier just for being there.

* * * * * * *

The morning over breakfast - and how cool is it that Lena has started stocking up her very expensive kitchen just to provide Kara with a proper breakfast when she stays over - Kara looks up from her plates to see Lena watching her over a cup of coffee.

“What?” she asks. “Have I got something particularly amusing on my face?” She’s fairly sure that Lena’s used to a smear or a crumb on Kara’s face. Food is serious business, and tidiness can be attended to later.

“No,” Lena says. “Just… wanted to make sure you’re okay with last night.”

Kara quickly runs through her mental rolodex of last night’s events. She’s fairly sure that she didn’t cry at the movie they had on… nothing particularly heavy discussed… oh.

Kara blushes. “You mean the thing with the…” she waves her hands around in the air, but she’s not entirely sure what she’s trying to indicate specifically. “Gosh, no. Unless what I did was weird? It was weird, wasn’t it?”

Lena plays with the end of her hair. “No,” she says, looking down at the surface of her coffee. “It’s fine. I’m just… not in a place where I commit the time and effort to maintain a relationship.”

Kara is a little horrified. Relationship? No, that’s bad and wrong, especially after James. She’s willing to risk something like that with Mon-El, but with Lena? No, no, no, no, no. “That’s good,” she says hurriedly. “I mean, I didn’t mean anything like that by it. Um, that sounds bad. I mean, I just wanted to do something nice for you. Like a massage. A nice, friendly massage. That’s fine, isn’t it? Is it fine?” she gabbles, starting to drive herself into a panic.

Lena holds out a hand palm first and Kara falls gratefully silent. “That’s fine,” she says and Kara lets go of a breath of relief. “So,” she says, giving Kara a playful Eyebrow. “I see you’re running me short of syrup again…”

Kara grins gratefully back at her. “Maybe you shouldn’t have such a delicious brand,” she says, totally willing to go for the subject change and let things go back to normal.

* * * * * * *

It’s seven o’clock before Kara really has a moment to herself. Time to get back home, sprawl for a moment before pulling down her panties and starting to finger herself. It’s just lazy motion at first, building up the fantasy, imagining that she’s just woken up, rolled out of bed, hit the floor naturally, without having to think or not think anything, with a slap to the flats of her feet that she can feel, a slight sharp pain that she might feel if she was normal.

Oh. There it is. She slips a finger inside herself with pressure that’d pop straight through plasterboard.

* * * * * * *

When she had first arrived on Earth, her powers had been overwhelming. Everything was too bright, too loud, too fragile. With time, with training, with practise, she’d managed to overcome most of those problems. 

There is one that has never really gone away though. Her diminished sense of touch.

* * * * * * *

She imagines pottering around the kitchen, making breakfast. Not too much - just a single slice of toast and coffee. But the… the toast is enough to offset the rumble in her stomach all by itself and the coffee… the coffee is as bitter as ever, just a slight flare of pain that… that she has to spit out and soothe the burn with breaths of cool air.

She imagines being a little klutzy just because that’s the way she is, not something she has to work at.

Then she’s getting dressed, but before she goes out, a shadowy *someone* who shares her apartment hugs her from behind, hard. She squirms and wriggles a little, unable to escape and kind of loves every second of it. But then she’s late and she really does have to leave. There's a crowd of the street and she’s… she just *annoyed* and *frustrated* because they’re slowing her down, that she has to push past them to get to where she’s going. Then some… some *jerk* comes from out of nowhere, and before she knows it she’s on the floor, looking up at the world, slightly sore from where she’s hit the concrete, but mostly just *furious* that someone did this to her without her permission.

And, oh, with some thrusts that would dent steel and crack bone, she has her first climax.

* * * * * * *

It isn’t that she can’t feel anything - exactly - but she can rarely feel *enough*. Terrestrial materials tend to break before she can apply a firm grip to… anything, really.

And with people… with people she hasn’t had a solid contact in thirteen years, barring a very few exceptions. She’s hardly been hugged tightly, not like she can remember from Krypton. She has only been able to apply the loosest of hugs in return, barely hanging her arms around someone.

Another thing lost.

It isn’t enough. It’s had to be enough.

* * * * * * *

She imagines getting up and continuing to CatCo in the cool down from that. The lift’s out, so she has to climb the stairs, muscles pulling and straining, lungs panting, aware that the clock is ticking down and she really does need to be in the office before Cat gets there. She… she gets to her desk just in time for Cat’s elevator to ping and then she has to control her breath despite her lungs feeling like they’re on fire as Cat strides past her, ignoring her completely, because she’s normal, just completely normal.

She feels herself getting heated up again, so she imagines sorting through the paperwork, eyes straining a little because her prescription’s running a little old and maybe she needs to visit the optician’s again, when it happens. A pure sharp pain as the paper, the paper of all things, slices through the tip of her finger. She brings her finger to her mouth and sucks, imagining that the coppery sharp taste of blood fills her mouth.

And that… that’s enough to bring her to her second climax, just completely letting go, forgetting that she lives in a world of spun crystal and soap bubbles, floating off the couch as she does so.

* * * * * * *

And sex is… has always been complicated for her. She’s… she knows she has the potential to be dangerous. Potentially could cause severe trauma with just her vaginal muscles if she clenched involuntarily.

It’s… it’s something she practised before she could even imagine letting herself getting close to anyone. Practised until she had been sure that she was safe.

But still… it’s something she needs to concentrate on. Needs to make sure that she’s relaxed, that she never starts clenching involuntarily.

It’s meant that she’s never had an orgasm with someone else, never dared to even try. She’d had sex before, as part of relationships, but…

It’d always taken her completely out of herself, something that she’d never really viewed as happening to herself. Not something she’d resented, exactly, but she’s fairly sure it’s helped cause the rapid demise of every relationship she’d ever had.

* * * * * * *

As she cools down, she just stays there on the couch, relaxed, doing nothing to disturb the illusion, just for the moment, that she’s just another ordinary girl in National City. Just a few minutes of peace, of normalcy, of something that hasn’t changed over the last several months.

Being powerless isn’t something she actually wants, she knows. She loves saving people, loves being Supergirl. Even when she lost her powers the first time, it wasn’t much of a fantasy. Well, apart from having to dash off to the toilets after she cut herself in Cat’s office, needing to masturbate for about quarter of an hour like she’s never had to before or since. But the shine had quickly worn off and the rest of it, the reality of it, had kinda sucked.

* * * * * * *

Her body hasn’t really felt like her own since she arrived on Earth. For a long time… for a long time she pretended, and it was almost enough.

These days it’s getting better as she stretches, reclaims it, dedicates it to being a hero.

She’s never going to have her Kryptonian body back. It’s never going to be like what it was. 

Then again, what is?

* * * * * * *

She stretches and potters off to the kitchen area to wash her hand and make herself a post orgasm snack. This kind of thing always did work up an appetite.

* * * * * * *

Kara can hear the furore from James’ office. Not that it’s exactly a challenge for her, but even if she didn’t have super powers, she’s fairly sure she’d be able to say the same.

Today is not a good day for James, at least in his role as CatCo CEO.

She waits until it’s quiet for a moment, uses X-ray vision just to make sure there’s actually a gap in visitors, then blurs up there, his favourite sandwich and coffee order in hand.

James is pacing near the window

“Hey,” she says, aiming her smile somewhere between commiseration and support. “How’s it going?”

He turns around and glowers at her, but she doesn’t take it personally. It isn’t as though he’d be allowed to show that much anger around anyone else, after all. She turns the notch up on her smile and his expression softens as she presents him with her offerings. 

Still, she suspects a punching bag and/or a trip out as Guardian are in his not too distant future.

“Everyone has someone else to blame,” he says sourly.

Probably multiple someones, if Kara’s a judge of the culprits in particular.

It’s not every day that one of CatCo’s news channels and one of their major magazines are publicly caught in a spat, after all. She can hazard a few guesses as to what might be going on.

Cat would know, she can’t help guiltily thinking. She feels even worse about the thought that follows it - that Cat would never have let it happen in the first place. And she can see that knowledge in James’ eyes as well.

She hugs him delicately, but determinedly, damning the still residual awkwardness between them. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” she whispers to him.

For his own sake, any further step has to be his.

His smile softens, his body warm against her and for a moment she can see once again the person she was crushing on for so long. “Thanks, Kara,” he says sincerely and she just can’t help squeezing him a little. “If you need me… I guess I’ll be living out of this office for the next week or so.”

“You can do this,” she says with perfect certitude before letting him go to handle this mess.

* * * * * * *

Lena’s nightmares continue, though they do get less frequent. Not infrequent enough that Kara doesn’t still worry, but, well. Lena still hasn’t shared what they’re about. Not that she has to, of course, but Kara wants to help and…

Well, Kara supposes it isn’t as though she’s been completely forthcoming with Lena either.

Their… thing, on the other hand, is surprisingly fun. In a once in every while kind of way - she wouldn’t want to do it any more than that. It’s nothing really at all to do with sex - it’s just Kara helping Lena get off, because apparently Lena prefers someone else to be involved in the process.

And, well, Kara’s always been good at taking instruction and there’s something somewhat satisfying making Lena - Lena of all people - briefly lose coherence. Inducing multiple orgasms is also kind of cool - sex had always been… enough without that.

And best of all, it doesn’t come with any expectation of reciprocation. She doesn’t have to blank, to fade out, to lose herself. They can skip straight to the good bits - the cuddling up afterwards - straight after Kara’s finished performing the favour.

And, well, maybe Kara does have a slight ulterior motive on occasion - Lena is generally disinclined to kick her out of bed afterwards, and sleeping next to Lena is surprisingly addictive.

It’s good, Lena’s happy. Kara’s happy. And if it’s at all weird in any way, Lena never mentions it.

This is the best friendship she’s ever had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. Having seen the Valentine's Day episode between posting the last chapter and this one, I'd like to say that my Mon-El is definitely an alt one, mainly because having a potential love interest who is not substantially an arsehole is way more interesting for this story.

“So Kikkikkikkikkik answered the door and the pizza delivery boy took a look at him, shrieked and ran away. Mike was, well, more than happy with free pizza, but Kikkikkikkikkik took the cash, climbed down the outside of the building and waited for him by his car. I’m not exactly sure what happened at that point, but they said ‘he leaked from his orifices in gratitude at the delivery of tokens’ as best I can translate, which, I guess, mission accomplished?” 

Kara honestly feels a little guilty whenever she uses a pronoun for Kikkikkikkikkik - Mon-El habitually uses he - but when she’d asked, Kikkikkikkikkik had indicated that they really didn’t care. ‘All of your Earth pronouns would be wrong. Why would I care which wrong one you use?’

Lena is leaning back against one arm, regarding her with amusement. “Ah, the continuing saga of Mike and- his alien roommate. What would I do without them?”

Kara half snorts, half laughs. “It’s just… I’ve never seen Mike fired up like this. He’s even talking about setting up an oxygen tent for Kikkikkikkikkik’s room.” Rao knows how he thinks he’s going to pay for it. “It’s actually- kind of sweet, really.” And certainly the most attractive Mon-El has ever been. 

Lena’s lips tighten slightly, so Kara decides to turn the conversation back on her. “So,” she says, “From what did I have to drag you away from L-Corp at gone ten at night?” Despite herself, she can’t help a note of fond opprobrium entering her voice.

Lena’s face smooths over. “Once I’d sent the solution to the capacitor weight problem to the GAWAIN project head,” she shrugs. “Still tilting at the same old windmill.”

“So,” Kara says, gamely changing the subject. “Have I bored you with enough about my life yet? Should we move onto Stargate? He asked me again this morning if we’ve got any further.”

Lena reaches forward, places her hand on Kara’s arm. “Actually,” she says and takes a breath. “I can tell about what I was working on, if you’d like.”

Kara freezes, searching Lena’s expression, but it’s a smooth as the water of a still pond. “O-kay?” she says. “I mean, you really don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know I ask about it a lot, but only because it seems so important to you-“ Lena silences her with a finger to her lips.

“I can do this,” she says, seemingly as much to herself as to Kara. “I will do this,” she says more firmly. “If nothing else, talking to you might provide some outside insight, even if you probably can’t with the actual science itself.” She pauses for a moment and Kara gives her an encouraging smile. “It’s- actually a project of my brother’s. He’d gotten a sample of Superman from - somewhere, I don’t know where - and he was studying to see if he could figure out the mechanism of how Superman’s powers worked.” She gives Kara a strained smile. “Doubtless so he could try and replicate them or create death rays or invincible armour or something. I don’t know. I’m… trying something much simpler. The way his cells store sunlight to convert into other forms of energy - if I could crack that, I’d be able to revolutionise renewable energy! I could help save the planet!” It’s Lena’s turn to look deeply into Kara’s eyes. “But you can see why I couldn’t exactly share this with you?”

“I wouldn’t have reported it if you didn’t want me to,” Kara says, a little offended.

“But you’re also close to Supergirl,” Lena says. “And you’ve just spent weeks proving to me just how good a friend you are. If… if you do feel like you need to tell her, could you try and explain why I’m doing this?”

Oh. Kara hadn’t really thought of it like that, but now that she has, she can’t not see it through Supergirl’s eyes. Through the lens that doubtless Alex is going to use when - if - she hears about this. Let alone what Kal-El is going to think. Lena - carrying on Lex’s work. Analysing Kryptonion biology in a way that could easily be used against them, if it ever bears fruit, despite Lena’s protestations.

And yet… and yet, it could save so many, create so much good in the world.

“I’ll have to think about this, about what I should do,” she says honestly. The stiffness of Lena’s posture relaxes, even if she does look a little hurt, a little disappointed. Kara twists her arm so she can grip Lena’s hand. “But no matter what I decide, I totally respect your intentions. I totally believe that - this way or another - you’re going to help save the world.”

“Why, Kara,” Lena says, managing a slight smirk. “Talk like that will turn my head.”

“Flirt,” Kara accuses, tugging her closer for a hug. “You mentioned Lex,” she murmurs into Lena’s hair. “You want this to be about him as well, don’t you? You want him to have helped save the world, regardless of what else he’s done.”

“You know me so well,” Lena says, clearly aiming for teasing tone of voice, but instead just sounding quiet, sincere.

And just like that, Kara knows she’s going to argue Lena’s case all the way.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“It didn’t go well?” Kara asks as if Alex’s face like thunder wasn’t answer enough.

“The AUSA wouldn’t charge Vintok,” Alex almost spits. “Said we didn’t have enough to bring him to court.”

Kara winces. Vintok had been in Fort Rozz for the rough equivalent of terrorism - he’d been convicted for blowing up a space station with over a hundred sentients onboard. Unfortunately, thanks to a landmark ruling a couple of weeks prior, all Fort Rozz convictions were not being upheld by the US Courts system. The former prisoners can only be imprisoned for actions committed on Earth and Vintok has kept his nose clean since arrival as far as anyone can tell.

A few days ago a small alien explosive had been used in a break in of a high tech lab and Alex had pounced upon the clues that tied Vintok to the crime. Apparently the AUSA didn’t agree.

“Never mind, Danvers,” Maggie says, cheerfully enough. “We’ll find more evidence. Or we’ll get him next time.”

“After he’s blown up somewhere else, maybe hurt or killed more people,” Alex says dourly. “”And why you so happy anyway, Sawyer?”

“I guess I’m just a lot more used to due process than you are. Hell, I’m even a little happy - if surprised - that the AUSA required more than a suspicious looking alien to be waved under his nose. Don’t get me wrong, your black bag days certainly had their charms, but as someone who has friends amongst the alien community, I’m actually a little happier that things are this way.”

Alex *glares* at Maggie, jaw working, Maggie smirking back and for a moment Kara actually worries that she might have to step in. But then Alex relaxes, even manages a little smile. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” she says and Maggie’s smile widens.

“It is one of my chief charms,” she admits. “So, Little Danvers, what can we do for you?”

“Um,” Kara says, suddenly not at all sure she wants to bring Lena up right at the moment. “How about lunch? You’ll probably think better on a full stomach.”

Alex and Maggie share a glance. Maggie makes a gesture which Kara is fairly sure means ‘your witness’. “Okay,” Alex says as Maggie paces around her. “What’s wrong?”

She hates it when they team up this way. “Nothing! Nothing’s wrong! Why would you think anything’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, Little Danvers,” Maggie says from behind her. “Why would we think anything is wrong?” Kara is at least ninety percent sure she’s got an impish look on her face.

“Lunch first?” Kara offers, only slightly desperately.

“You can tell us whilst we’re waiting for our order,” Alex decides.

Kara’s fairly sure she’s doomed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“No,” Alex says. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on,” Kara says, anxiously drumming her fingers, already anticipating her three sandwiches on their way. “Just think of what this could mean.”

“I am,” Alex says in that ‘I am the big sister and I know best’ tone of voice. “Even if Lena can be trusted to go down this route without ulterior motives - and that’s still a big if as far as I’m concerned - this is Lex’s old company. Do you really think we can trust everyone who might be able to gain access to this work - many of whom are people he hired?”

“Fine, then,” Kara fires back. “Have the work be done on systems not connected to the L-Corp network. Have Winn make sure that they’re secure. Make sure security is up to your standards.”

Alex glares at her. “Do you honestly think Clark is going to okay with a Luthor having his DNA? Conducting experiments on it?”

Kara bites her lip, because no, she doesn’t think Kal-El is going to be good with this. “I’ll ask for it back,” she says quietly. “She can have some of Supergirl’s cell samples instead.”

“What?” Alex says. “No. No, you are not doing this.”

Kara juts her chin out. “I’m willing to trust Lena in this. To potentially accomplish this much good. And it’s my body, my choice.”

Alex rubs her temples, suddenly looking very tired. “Okay, okay. If you’re determined to do this, if Lena really is determined to work on this for the greater good, she can do it at a DEO facilities. Nothing leaves. We get access to everything.” She offers Kara a strained smile. “I’ll even be on hand to offer my xeno-biological expertise.”

Kara relaxes. “Thanks, Alex.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad that’s over with,” Maggie says, taking the opportunity to steal some food off Alex’s plate. “Because that was way too awkward for a third person to experience anywhere near food.” 

Kara can’t help looking a little scandalised at the thought of anything getting between her and food. 

“I’m sorry, Little Danvers,” Maggie says, smirking. “Was that against your religion?”

“Technically, no,” Alex says. “Effectively yes.” She tilts her head and examines Kara whilst chewing on a mouthful. “So…” she says after she’s cleared that. “Lena. You seem to be close friends with her.”

“Yes?” Kara says a little guiltily. “Yes,” she says more definitively. “We’re good friends. We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together recently.”

“Why am I only just hearing about this now?”

Because you haven’t been there, she doesn’t say. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t really even be true, however it feels. She’d meant to tell Alex, meant to even organise that meet up she’d been threatening Lena with for weeks. But… it had just never seemed the right time. 

Kara wraps her arms around her chest and looks down. “Because you would have acted like this.”

“Because I have reason to act like this! Even if she doesn’t know you’re Supergirl - and please, Kara, tell me she doesn’t know that,” Kara mutely shakes her head, “She knows that you’re the sister of a top DEO agent and have a strong personal connection to Supergirl. And pretty much the first thing she does is to get you to argue for her being allowed to work on technology that’s highly dangerous to Kryptonians.”

“Yes,” Kara says, suddenly angry. “We’ve been meeting up practically daily for months, never talking about your work, hardly mentioning Supergirl all because she wants to manipulate me. And, for your information, she didn’t have to tell me what she was working on - she could have just kept on keeping it quiet, and I wouldn’t have asked or tried to find out. Because we’re friends!”

Alex blinks. Maggie nudges her. “Got to admit Little Danvers has you there. You are sounding a little paranoid.”

Alex pokes at her food in silence for a few moments. “Sorry,” she says finally. “I’m just… worried. So, meeting up almost daily?” she asks and this time there’s a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth, or at least a very good impression of one.

“Ugh,” Kara says. “I knew I should never have let that slip out. Yes, almost daily. I… Everyone’s been busy in the evenings recently. And you know I don’t do well by myself. And Lena… Lena needs someone to pull her out of L-Corp sometimes before she forgets what the outside world looks like.” She doesn’t mention the nights over, the nightmares, the things that occasionally happen during them.

They’re private and quite frankly Alex would probably misconstrue what happens.

Maggie smirks but Alex’s face falls. “I’m sorry if you’ve felt that way.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kara says firmly. 

“I’ll make more time for sister nights,” Alex insists.

Kara glances at Maggie, who raises her hands. “Don’t look at me. I also have my own life - maybe even some friends - that I could stand to pay more attention to than I have been recently. No offence, babe,” she says to Alex before giving her the kind of kiss that Kara really doesn’t need to see.

“None taken,” Alex says, grinning at her.

“Ugh, you two,” Kara complains. “Ugh. And if you’re that worried about Lena, why don’t you get to know her better? I can bring her to Game Night.”

“Fine,” Alex says. “I’ll see her there.”


	5. Chapter 5

Kara counts the piles of cushions and other assorted soft things on the floor, just to be sure. Seven. Her living area isn’t really meant to hold that many people for Game Night, but she can handle it.

Everything is handled.

“How’s the stack of games looking?” she asks Winn.

“The same as the last time you asked?’ he replies. She glares at him. “Okay, okay, just saying. It’s good, Kara. I am all set for being the master of games this evening.”

She turns towards Alex and Maggie, who have taken shelter in the kitchen area and seem to be more occupied with each other than their duties. Normally, she’d find that cute, but Game Night is Serious Business, most especially tonight. “Nibbles and drinks?” she asks. Alex ignores her, so she raises her voice and repeats herself. “I said, are the nibbles and drinks ready?”

Alex murmurs something to Maggie, making her giggle, which Kara does not deign to overhear, before turning to Kara. “A little worked up, are we?” Kara looks unimpressed at her, hand on her waist. This evening already has such a potential for going disastrously wrong, she doesn’t want to leave anything to chance if she can help it. Alex smirks. “Yes, captain,” she says. “Food and drink for us mere mortals is present and accounted for. I believe that you are responsible for filling the Kara and Mon-El gap in the above.”

“Mike,” she murmurs as she checks the online order on her phone. Due in about half an hour. Good. “He’s Mike for tonight.”

“It’s so cute that she thinks she can lecture me about deception,” Alex deadpans to Maggie.

Kara is about to retort to her when there’s a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” she chirrups as she practically - but not actually, an important difference - flies to the door. It’s… Mon-El and Kikkikkikkikkik.

“Hi,” she says, waving at Mon-El then signing the greeting at Kikkikkikkikkik. “An extra guest,” she says to Mon-El. “How unexpected.” Eight. Eight places. Um… pillows. Would pillows work for Kikkikkikkikkik? And food… he likes raw meat, though cooked will do at a pinch, if she recalls.

Okay, okay, she can handle this.

“I hope it’s alright,” Mon-El says and signs simultaneously.

“Thank you for welcoming me to your nest,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs formally.

“Hey, an insect dude,” Winn says from the direction of the games.

“Their name is Kikkikkikkikkik,” Kara mutters as she ushers them in. “It’s fine,” Kara signs. “We’ll be sitting on the ground. Would pillows make that more comfortable for you?” 

Kikkikkikkikkik doesn’t respond to her question, instead backing behind Mon-El. “The hunter,” they sign, forelimbs jerky with… panic? “The hunter.”

Kara blankly looks at Mon-El, but he seems to be as confused as she is. “What do you mean the hunter?” he signs.

Kikkikkikkikkik points a forelimb in the direction of Alex and Maggie.

“Do you know them?” Kara asks them. “Kikkikkikkikkik is calling you the hunter.”

Maggie shrugs and shakes her head. Alex… looks contemplative. “There was incident last year with some creatures that looked like,” she gestures in Kikkikkikkikkik’s direction. “I was hunting a Fort Rozz escapee who had buddied up with them. They wouldn’t surrender and when we tried to bring them in, it went bad. I can’t think of anything else apart from that.”

Kara winces. “Their species have real problems parsing human speech, hence the…” she waves her hands around. She turns back to Kikkikkikkikkik. “She isn’t going to hurt you,” she signs. “You can relax.”

It takes a while, but between her and Mon-El, with the surprise help of Maggie who can apparently sign at a pidgin level and also about a pound of raw beef which Kara dashes out to get, they eventually manage to calm Kikkikkikkikkik down enough to get the story. Sesorran - the Fort Rozz escapee - had been acting as guide and translator for Kikkikkikkikkik’s clutch, and incidentally giving not the best impression of the DEO. When humans barking loud angry noises and smelling of the stench of human weapons had burst in, the clutch had scattered. Some towards the humans, which was when the killing had started.

Kikkikkikkikkik was apparently the only one to survive. After making sure that they would be alright, Kara hugs Kikkikkikkikkik, who leans into her in turn.

“What are you even doing on Earth?” she asks. Because, seriously, a planet with too low oxygen levels and a native species you can’t understand doesn’t seem like anyone’s first option.

“Pirates took our ship, stranded us on the nearest inhabitable planet,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs.

“Can you apologise for me,” Alex says quietly when the situation is explained. Kara can see she’s already beating herself up about it, already trying to revise protocols in her head. Kara herself feels a little ill. Has she made any mistakes like this last year when the focus was on aliens as hostiles?

She honestly doesn’t know.

There’s another knock at the door. This time it’s Lena, and she could almost hug her just for breaking the awkward silence the room had fallen into. 

Honestly, she’s rather tempted to anyway.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” she says instead.

“And miss one of your infamous game nights? Perish the thought,” Lena says with a slightly stiff smile.

“This is Kikkikkikkikkik,” Kara says. “I believe you’ve already met everyone else.”

“One way or another,” Lena says drily. “Agent, Winn, Mike… Detective,” she says, nodding at each in turn. “Can you show me how to sign a greeting?” she asks Kara.

“Sure,” Kara says, showing her, which she then copies.

“Greetings,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs back.

Alex advances towards them, glass in hand, her attention focussed on Lena. 

Be nice, Kara mouths at her sternly.

Alex ignores her. “I have to admit that I was surprised to hear that you and Kara had become such good friends,” she says to Lena.

Lena gives her one of her corporate smiles back, glossy and smooth and utterly without purchase. “Not nearly as surprised as I was, I assure you.” Alex stiffens, but before she can say anything, Lena’s finish cracks a little as she gives Kara a fond look. “To be honest,” she says, “I’m sure I don’t deserve her, but she’s incredibly hard to say no to.”

Kara feels something melt within her at Lena opening herself up like that, showing a weakness, an insecurity that she’s probably convinced that Alex is about to exploit, and before she can stop herself, she’s wrapped one arm gently around Lena and glowering at Alex, daring her to say anything.

Alex is… looking at little uncertainly at them, but apparently decides that discretion is the better part of valour in this case. She offers Lena a wry smile. “Oh, if Kara only associated with people who deserved her, we’d all be out of luck,” she says.

Kara lets go of Lena and gives Alex a gentle punch on the arm. “And don’t you forget it.”

“I’m sorry about the seating arrangements,” she says to Lena. “My apartment wasn’t really designed to handle this many people.”

“It’s fine,” Lena says as she sits down on a cushion, joining Mon-El, Kikkikkikkikkik and Winn. Kara takes the one next to her. Alex and Maggie join them as they finally decamp from the kitchen area, bringing the nibbles with them.

Lena rests her weight on one arm, propping herself up such that her shoulder brushes Kara gently. It’s a very… Lena-ish way of seeking comfort without being actually admitting that’s what she wants. But Kara isn’t exactly complaining. “So what’s it like, being an alien in National City?” Lena asks Kikkikkikkikkik, with Mon-El translating.

“Difficult,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs. “Before Mon-El,” which Mon-El naturally translates as Mike, “took me in, I had to scavenge out of bins and find shelter where I could. Not to mention that humans treat me as a creature rather than someone who can think.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Mon-El adds, looking angry on Kikkikkikkikkik’s behalf. “For all the aliens National City has - for all that they can allegedly apply for citizenship - there’s no way to take care of them.” He doesn’t quite look at Alex, which is probably for the best. Ever since he and Kikkikkikkikkik became friends, he and Alex have been disagreeing about this kind of thing more and more.

Alex makes a noise regardless. “It’s not our fault that refugees from over two dozen alien cultures have started using the US as a hiding place. We simply don’t have the resources to integrate them, especially when almost a third have problems with terrestrial languages.”

“It’s true,” Lena interjects. “Expecting the government to be efficient about anything is something of a losing game.” She smirks at Alex wickedly.

“Thanks,” Alex says sourly. “For the kind of help I could really do without.”

Lena tilts her head in acknowledgment. “So,” she says to Kikkikkikkikkik, “What was your job before you came here?” Mon-El translates ‘job’ more as ‘function’, but Kikkikkikkikkik seems to understand the intended meaning.

“Ship’s doctor,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs.

Lena looks thoughtful for a moment. “Hmmm,” she says, “A doctor, huh? Would you be willing to give lessons on what you know of science and technology? In return for payment, of course.” She focusses her attention on Mon-El. “If you’d be willing to act as translator for this, I’d be willing to offer you a suitable wage as well.”

Mon-El looks at Lena for a long moment, then turns to Kikkikkikkikkik to translate.

“Hey,” Kara interjects. “This is Game Night. No business. You can handle this later.”

“Of course,” Lena says smoothly, then roots inside her purse for a card and hands it to Mon-El. “Call me tomorrow and we can take this up then.”

There’s another knock on the door - the delivery guy - and Kara divvies up the spoils between her and Mon-El. She can’t help feeling a little worried, though - James is almost an hour late, which is unusual for him, and Winn is here, which means he probably isn’t Guardianing.

She texts him, Everything okay?

He replies a few minutes later. Minor emergency. Almost there.

Sure enough, there’s a knock on the door a few minutes later. She hops up to open the door, to reveal James… and a woman she doesn’t recognise.

“Hi!” she says to James. “Um, hello,” she says to the woman. “I’m Kara.”

“Sorry for the lack of notice. Something of a last minute emergency,” James says, wincing a little. “Guys, this is Bhavini. Bhavini, this is Kara, Alex, Maggie…” He blinks as his eyes fall on Kikkikkikkikkik. “That guy, that guy I don’t know.”

“Kikkikkikkikkik,” Winn helpfully supplies, having managed to master it since they arrived.

“Yes, them,” James says. “Mike, Winn, Lena,” he finishes off rapidly.

“Please,” Kara says. “Come in, sit down.” 

Nine people. Nine. Okay. That’s doable. Somehow. There’s a certain amount of shuffling so James and Bhavini can sit next to each other.

She’s fine, she thinks as she bustles off into her bedroom to grab a blanket for her to sit on. She’s completely fine that James has turned up with a woman, a woman who he’s currently got his arm around.

There’s no reason that she shouldn’t be fine. She’s moved on. She’s thinking about going out with Mon-El. James has had to be around them for the last few months, and he hasn’t had a problem.

There’s absolutely no reason why there should be a solid cold weight in her stomach.

She’s been staring at her bed blankly for a few minutes when a floorboard creaks behind her. Turning, she sees that Mon-El is there, looking weirdly hesitant.

“Are you..?” he asks, opening his arms slightly. She hops forward and into his arms and hugs him, hard, hard enough to warp steel, hard enough to ground her in the present.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into his ear. Over his shoulder, she can see into the main room, though the only person she can see is Lena, looking back at her with a closed expression. Kara smiles at her, gives her an awkward wave with one hand. Suddenly wishes that she was hugging Lena instead, even if she wouldn’t be able to do it firmly.

Maybe as well. She’s not too sure. There’s something to be said for Mon-El’s solidity.

She’d like Lena to be touching her right now, that much she’s sure of.

“I’m good,” she whispers to Mon-El and disengages, grabbing a couple of blankets for her to sit on.

“So, yeah, a pipe burst in the apartment above mine,” Bhavini is saying when she gets back in the main room. “The building super is apparently looking at it, but we’ll see how long it takes to get fixed.”

As she sits down, next to Mon-El, she notices Maggie eyeing her and Lena, an inscrutable expression on her face. Kara raises her eyebrows at Maggie, who shakes her head slightly and focusses her attention back towards Bhavini and James.

“I felt bad,” James is saying, “I would have offered my apartment, but, well, obviously. So I asked her to come with me for Game Night.”

“Thankfully,” Bhavini says with a wry smile. “Otherwise my evening would have been a complete washout.”

Kara snorts then laughs. Other people respond with groans. Lena just shakes her head.

“I don’t understand what’s going on,” Kikkikkikkikkik signs.

Okay, whatever else, she likes Bhavini.

“Jimmy always did have good taste in women,” Lena says, smirking a little.

James looks suddenly wary. “I go by James now.”

Bhavini looks between them. “There’s a story here, isn’t there?”

Lena’s smirk deepens. “Oh, he hasn’t told you about our disastrous first and only date yet?” What? “Halfway through it, I figured out I was a lesbian.”

James, who had been looking like he was torn between losing his temper and fleeing the room entirely, suddenly looks poleaxed. “What?” he stammers out.

“Oh, you never heard that bit I guess,” she says offhandedly.

“No,” he says. “No, that never reached me.”

Bhavini, who has been looking between the two of them delightedly, cracks up. “Oh, wow,” she finally says. “Remind me never to get on your wrong side,” she says to Lena. “Cheer up,” she says to James, elbowing him cheerfully. “I’m fairly sure that I’m not a lesbian.”

“Me neither,” Kara chips in.

Bhavini looks at her with interest. “You’re another one of his exes?”

Kara waves a hand in the air. “Sort of.”

“How about you two?” she says to Alex and Maggie.

“Just lesbians,” Maggie says.

“Cool,” Bhavini says. “It really feels like I should start making Venn diagrams of your friends, James.”

“So,” Alex says. “Games.”

Yes, Kara thinks. Let the games begin.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Okay,” Alex says as they’re cleaning up the apartment after everyone else has left. “I approve of your friendship with Lena.”

Kara rolls her eyes fondly at her. “Like you have a say in the matter.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t under any delusion that I did,” Alex says dryly. “But anyone who likes you as much as she clearly does can’t be all bad.”

“I know,” Kara says with a grin. “I mean, she even put up with an evening with you for me.”

“Hah,” Alex says. “I’ll have you know that I was the soul of Game Night.”

“If by that, you mean utterly mono focussed and ruthless. I still can’t believe you betrayed Maggie like that.”

“She shouldn’t have been so trusting,” Alex says primly, then smirks at Kara. “Maybe we should play Diplomacy next time.”

Kara shudders. “Please don’t even joke about that. And you- you’d be lucky to still have a girlfriend by the end of that.”

“Nah,” Alex says. “She’d have far too much fun making me pay for my transgressions later.”

“Ugh,” Kara says, making a face and slapping her lightly. “Don’t sully Game Night with your mating rituals.”

“Hey,” Alex says mildly. “You don’t see me complaining about you and Mon-El.”

“That was- We weren’t- We aren’t even going out yet.”

“He won’t wait around for ever,” Alex says, bumping her lightly. “Hell, I’m surprised he’s waited around this long.”

“We’ve been,” Kara waves in the air, uncertain how to finish the sentence. Honestly, it has been drawn out. Probably far more so than is at all reasonable. But she enjoys this stage of things, where the future seems full of potential, where nothing has quite been nailed down yet. She sighs. “I’ll think about it.”

Alex looks at her once, twice, three times before actually speaking, and Kara knows what she’s going to say even before she makes a sound. “And James? You’re alright now? It was a bit of a dick move, springing the new woman in his life on you like that.”

Kara thinks for a moment. She’s… honestly, she hadn’t exactly been thinking they’d ever get back together again. It’s just… that potential had always been lurking in the back of her mind, and the closing off of it had hurt a little.

It’s silly, but there it is. 

She thinks anyway. It’s best guess at any rate.

With a sigh, she releases any lingering pain, lets it go. “I’m fine,” she says. “I’m good.”

Alex is still looking at her with concern. “You’re sure?” she asks. “You know you can tell me if anything’s wrong.”

Kara hugs her as firmly as she can. “I know,” she says. “I know.” She draws back and grins at Alex. “Actually, I was a little surprised that you weren’t the one to come into the bedroom and hug me.”

“Given a few moments more, I would have been, trust me,” Alex says wryly. “But Lena got there first and somehow communicated to Mon-El that he should shift his ass in there.”

“Really?” Kara asks, unable to help smiling. Though, honestly, she still half wished Lena had come herself. “No wonder you’ve grudgingly given her the sister seal of approval.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alex says, rolling her eyes that bely the small smile on her face. “I *guess*.”

“And you?” Kara asks. “How’re you doing?”

Alex looks pensive, then determined. “I’ll be fine once I make sure that there are no more botched interactions between aliens and the DEO.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Kara’s on the phone chasing down a story when James walks into view.

‘Talk when you’ve got a minute,’ he mouths.

She nods distractedly as she finally manages to nail down the manager she’s been trying to get a quote from for the last hour, rather than her secretary who is exceedingly good at stonewalling.

“So, Ms Whittaker. About the provenance of this wolframite you’ve been selling…” she starts.

It’s a couple of hours later when both she and James have holes in their schedules that coincide. It’s late enough that she doesn’t feel bad about making this her first lunch.

“So,” she says in between mouthfuls of her sandwich. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s been mentioned that I’ve been overlooking a useful resource for running CatCo.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently someone who was Cat’s assistant for over two years - especially one is now a promising reporter - might have a few things to say about the internal dynamics of the company,” he says, sounding a little rueful.

“I can’t claim that all my information is still up to date,” Kara says, smiling, looking down at her hands before looking back up at James. “But, sure. Anything I have is at your disposal.”

“Trust me, it’d all be useful. Which isn’t to say that I don’t have my own ideas about what’s going on, but more background is always useful.”

“That, I can do. Just a moment,” she says, then pops off to her desk and returns with bounty in her hands. “Index cards,” she chirps. “Always the best way to organise anything.”

“Just don’t mention that around Winn. He’d probably have an aneurysm.”

“Oh, I’d forgotten that you’d missed the great Database Wars of ’14.” Kara flashes him a grin. “It’s how we became friends.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that.”

“I’ll get Winn do it. He’s much better with the voices than I am. Maybe next Game Night. It’s a performance that should be shared,” she says, flicking through cards, filling them up with information as she recalls it. “So,” she says a little distractedly. “It’s been mentioned? By who?”

“What’s been mentioned?”

She waggles her pen at him. “That I would be a useful resource.”

He shrugs, a trace of embarrassment crossing his features. “Ah, yes. That. Lena.”

Kara pauses briefly. “Huh. I did wonder what you two were talking about in the kitchen area last night.”

“Now you know.” He laughs, a little ruefully. “It’s weird, really. You don’t know that you’re carrying so much anger over something so little, even something you’ve almost forgotten about until it’s gone.” 

Kara pauses for a moment, then looks up at him. “The date with Lena?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t know what was going through her mind, honestly. All I knew is that I’d put my heart on the line, all just so she could publicly humiliate me. I’d… kinda assumed she and Lex had cooked it up as some kind of joke between them.” He makes a face. “Seriously, I thought I’d forgotten all about it.”

“So you’re not on the Lena is Evil train anymore?”

“Let’s say that I’ve got an open mind. Though the fact that you like so much does weigh a lot in her favour.”

Kara lets silence fall between them for a few minutes, completely comfortable with just the two of them like that in the first time in forever, before looking up at him sidelong and giving him a smile. “So,” she says. “Bhavini?”

“Yeah. Sorry about bringing her last minute like that.”

“Don’t apologise for that. She was fun. How did you meet?”

“You really are determined to have all my embarrassing secrets out in open today, aren’t you?”

Kara can’t help a little squeal. “So there’s something embarrassing to tell?”

He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and shakes his head ruefully. “Okay, I was out in civvies when I caught sight of someone being mugged by four guys in an alley. Naturally I stepped in. And… kind of got sucker punched by one of them.” Kara can’t help gently batting at him in a half-reproachful, half-worried kind of way. “So, there I was, down on the ground, about to get kicked in the ribs by this guy, when down *he* goes, clubbed by a bit of street trash wielded by this short dot of a woman.” He smiles fondly. “Apparently she’d seen the same thing I had, and had the same reaction. Though she’d phoned the emergency services first.”

“That’s so romantic,” Kara says, unable to stop herself hugging him a little. She stays like that for a moment before releasing him and it doesn’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest.

“Well, I certainly have a type. Now about Kitch…” he says in a blatant change of subject.

Kara lets him get away with it. She’s embarrassed him enough for one day. “Well, what you’ve got to understand about him is…” she starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any interest in reading a short snippet about Lena's and James' first and only terrible date from Lena's perspective, you can find that in Date Night.


	6. Chapter 6

After a little over two weeks of no contact with Lena outside of one more Game Night - which doesn’t really count because it’s not just them - and occasionally seeing her after hours at the DEO lab - which doesn’t count because she can’t hang out with her as Kara - and one lunch date, Kara starts getting a little antsy. 

Not that it’s anyone’s fault, of course. She is absolutely not complaining about the three sisters’ nights she and Alex have shared, nor about the group night spent down at the bar. Not to mention that of course being Supergirl always takes a toll on her free time. And Lena is absolutely allowed to be busy or not feel up to company on the nights that Kara has been available…

It’s just Kara has missed her, with a sharpness that she didn’t quite expect. And it doesn’t seem fair that Mon-El - of all people - has seen more of Lena recently than she has. Not that it hasn’t been for a very good reason, but still. And, well, now it’s a Saturday. Even if Lena is working, Kara refuses to feel too bad about staging a break out, for half an hour at least.

_Busy?_ she texts Lena.

_Somewhat, comes the response after a few minutes_.

Well too bad, she thinks. _If you’re only somewhat busy, then you won’t mind me dropping in_

Three dots appear on her cellphone and stay there for a few minutes. Finally, _I’m clothes shopping_ appears.

Kara grins. _Sounds fun. Where are you?_

_My apartment. Where else?_

Kara grins at her phone. She really should have guessed that. When she gets there, Lena ushers her in, glass of wine in hand. Lena’s living room has been taken over by a rack of dresses, a stack of shoe boxes and a case of jewellery. A short, neat woman with dark skin stands by the clothes rack.

Kara waves at her. “Hi! I’m Kara. Pleased to meet you!”

The woman nods. “Elaine. Now that everyone is here, shall we begin?”

“Gosh,” Kara says. “You didn’t have to wait for me. I mean-”

“Maybe I value your opinion,” Lena cuts her off.

Kara blushes and looks down. “Maybe you should have invited Winn over if you wanted help with clothing.”

Lena reaches over and touches her wrist. “If I’d wanted that, I’d have asked him.”

Kara looks at her sidelong and smiles. “I guess I’ll have to do the best I can.” She sits up straighter. “So, what’s the occasion?”

Lena looks a little uncomfortable. “Clubbing. Tonight.”

“Oh,” Kara says. “Oh! Congratulations on finally taking the plunge!” She knows that Lena’s missed the nightlife, that she hasn’t had time to go clubbing since she got here, that with all the scandals she been a little afraid to go out. But she can’t help feeling a twinge of… something at the news. Probably that Lena has made time for this and not for… well… Or maybe - stupidly - that Lena didn’t even think to invite her.

Lena leans back and props her head up on one arm and studies her. “I know it isn’t exactly your scene, but you can come with, if you want to.”

“Oh! You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Lena opens her mouth like she’s going to respond so Kara rushes on and turns to Elaine who is looking politely amused at the exchange. “So! Clothing! What do you have?”

Elaine raises her eyebrows. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything in your size here. If you give me some idea of colour and style I can try and deliver a few options by tonight.”

“What?’ Kara snorts. “No, I’m just here to provide moral support. I do not have the money for… for any of this, trust me.”

“If you want something…” Lena says.

“Oh no. That’s alright. I’ve already got some dresses. Some nice dresses, even.”

Lena eyes her speculatively. “Well, if you’re sure… I look forward to seeing you in one of them. If you’d like to come, of course.”

Kara opens her mouth to refuse once again, but something about the way that Lena’s looking at her - just waiting, not pressuring her one way or the other - makes her reconsider. “Okay,” she says. “I’d be happy to spend the evening with you.”

And finally Lena smiles at her. A slight one, not one of the open ones she sometimes gives when they’re alone, but Kara will absolutely take it.

Lena gets up and the showing of dresses begins. It’s… there’s certainly a variety of them. Some of them showing way much more flesh than certainly Kara would be comfortable with in public. Kara happily helps as best she can - she’s always had an eye for what looks good, even if sexy is a somewhat looser concept. After every one, Lena tries out a few poses, looking in a full length mirror then turns to Kara to ask what she thinks. Every time Lena looks at her for her reaction, studying her. She almost seems like she’s waiting for something.

If she is, Kara hopes she finds it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Thank you,” Kara says, smiling gratefully as Lena helps her out of the car.

“My pleasure,” Lena says, smirking a little at her. Kara can’t help blushing slightly, but Lena seems to like drawing that out of her on occasion.

There’s a line outside of the club, a line Lena completely ignores as she breezes straight past it and the bouncers at the door. A line that seems to be almost completely comprised of women, and the view inside confirms that impression. Oh. It’s a lesbian club. Of course it is. Kara’s not sure why she’s at all surprised. Really, she should be making a note of places like this for Alex. Not that Alex is big into clubbing anymore.

But maybe that’ll change now she’s, like, figured out stuff.

Lena leads her straight to the bar. “What would you like?” she asks.

Kara shrugs and smiles. “Surprise me,” she says. She ends up sipping something fruity as Lena checks her cellphone.

“There you are,” comes a familiar voice from behind her. She turns around to check, but it is indeed…

“Maggie?’ she says with a slightly confused smile.

“Kara,” Maggie echoes flatly. She gives Lena a look that Kara can’t quite identify. “Lena, a word with you.”

Lena looks resigned as they move off together. It’s obviously a private conversation that Kara totally respects. She doesn’t actually mean to overhear Maggie asking, “What were you thinking?” or Lena groaning, “I’m weak.”

She can’t help wondering how Lena and Maggie have had the time to become friends when Lena hasn’t had any time for her. Maybe it’s just been bad luck, and Kara certainly doesn’t begrudge Lena another friend. It’s just…

Lena and Maggie return and Lena offers Kara a slightly strained smile.

“So, Little Danvers,” Maggie says, stepping forward, taking the initiative. “What’s new since I saw you last?”

“I’m going to go out and dance for a bit,” Lena says, not quite meeting Kara’s eyes before heading towards the dance floor.

For a moment, Kara’s tempted to just blow Maggie off and follow Lena. It isn’t as though she doesn’t like dancing - she really does like moving like that - it’s just…

She gets around most of the time by hanging loose, making sure to flow with whatever bumps and impacts people give her. A little overcompensation in that direction is some of what gets her a reputation for clumsiness. But even a not too packed dance floor, with people all around and so many inconvenient impacts that she can’t keep track of them all… 

It’s a little difficult, is what she’s saying.

Besides - she can’t help feeling, with a sharp pain running straight her chest - if Lena actually wanted her there with her, she wouldn’t have so hastily abandoned her.

So she smiles at Maggie instead. “Just more investigative reporting. You know how that goes.”

“Sp when am I going to be able to read the big scoop?” Maggie asks, then finally manages to flag down the bartends and order them drinks.

“Honestly? Not sure. I’m kind of the assistant on this one.” She rolls her eyes. “Snapper’s taken to calling me the intern, which I guess might be a step up? At least it means he’s actually acknowledging I’m part of his staff.”

“How many more years do you think it’s going to be before he calls you a reporter?”

“Hah. I’m not sure I’m going to live that long. So, how about you?” she asks, flipping the focus. “What’s happening in your life? Apart from becoming friends with Lena, apparently.”

Maggie shrugs. “Needed some new friends after my ex got most of ours in the breakup, and cops don’t really count. Lena’s a fun lady.” Her smile broadens. “Why, are you jealous?”

“What? No. Pft,” Kara waves a hand in the air. “It’s just… we haven’t had much in the way of friend time recently.”

Maggie’s smile remains the same, but Kara gets the sense she’s studying her. “Yeah, well, might happen a bit in the future. Dating takes time, as I’m sure you aware, y’know, given Mike. And it isn’t as though she has a lot of free time to begin with.”

Kara’s stomach drops. “She’s dating?” 

“She’s looking,” Maggie says. “That takes time too.”

“That’s good,” Kara says quietly, then repeats it louder when Maggie looks confused.

Maggie shakes her head. “Want to go out there and dance for a bit?”

Kara thinks for a moment, then smiles at her. “Find me somewhere with a little space, and you’re on.”

Maggie somehow does - with a stern admonition to let her know if anyone does approach too close - and Kara just manages to let herself go for a few minutes.

“Nice moves, Little Danvers,” Maggie says after she returns to herself.

Kara beams at her. “Not bad yourself.” She catches sight of Lena over Maggie’s shoulder, dancing hot and heavy with another woman. “Hey,” she says to Maggie. “Looks like Lena’s having fun.”

Maggie turns, then looks sidelong at Kara. “Certainly does. You good with that?”

Kara gives her a confused look. “Why wouldn’t I be? Lena deserves to have women find her attractive and stuff.”

Maggie looks at her for a moment longer, then nods slowly. “She certainly does.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kara’s phone rings far too early the next morning, startling her awake. Once she’s gotten over the muscle freeze - a learned reaction after entirely too many destroyed bed and blankets over the years - she reaches for the phone and answers.

“Hi,” she says, trying her best not to sound as grumpy as she’s kind of feeling.

“Good morning, Kara,” Lena says, sounding entirely too amused for the good of Kara’s dignity.

Despite that, she can’t help a smile spreading over her face. Lena has phoned her for the first time in two weeks. “Hey,” she says, sitting up. “I’m surprised that you’re phoning me this early in the morning. Don’t you have a visitor to look after,” she says, gently teasing.

“That’s- You’re assuming that she spent the night,” Lena says, sounding slightly discombobulated, which personally Kara counts as a win.

“You kicked her out in the middle of the night,” Kara gasps, only half facetiously. “How ungentlewomanly of you.”

“Ah, yes, Kara Danvers,” Lena says dryly. “Truly the last word in the etiquette of one night stands.”

“You think you’re funny, but you’re not,” Kara huffs. But mainly, she’s just glad that they can joke around like this again. “I hope you had a good… encounter,” she says softly.

“It was… it doesn’t matter,” Lena says. “It’s a step forward in getting my love life in order. Anyway, talking about last night was not why I phoned. I was thinking… I was thinking that - barring a meeting over the telephone in the afternoon - I have the day free, and that I have not seen nearly enough of my good friend Kara in the last few weeks. Would you like to come over?”

“Would I!” Kara squeals, actually floating off her bed in excitement. Alex would never let her live down if she knew. “I’ll be over in an hour! No, half an hour!”

Lena laughs. “Just… take care, and make it over when you can, okay? We have the whole day. There’s no rush.”

Kara privately disagrees, but doesn’t say that. “See you soon,” she says and hangs up as a knot in her stomach that she didn’t even know was there loosens.

Everything- everything is right with the world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, yay, I have finished the first draft of the rest of the story! (Three more chapters in total, assuming that I don't add more scenes.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't burn me at the stake

“You look wonderful,” Kara says as she nips in to give Lena a gentle hug. It’s true - she does, even before her face softens a little from a corporate smile to one more like she’d give Kara when they’re curled up on her couch together.

“Not looking bad yourself, Ms Danvers,” Lena says with a smile. “If you’re not careful, you’ll outshine the hostess of this party.”

“Hah! Pft,” Kara says, waving away the absurdity of the compliment. “I guess it’s just as well I’m not your plus one this time, then.”

Lena’s smile fades a little. “Yes, well. You do have a proper date, after all.”

Kara ducks her head. “Sorry to abandon you like this.”

“Nonsense,” Lena says, a slightly odd note in her cheerfulness. 

Probably stress - this is a big night after all.

“Thank you again for helping do this,” Kara says softly. “This is going to make such a big difference in so many people’s lives.”

“I am, of course, only doing it for purely altruistic reasons,” Lena says dryly. “Now, shoo! I’m not the only one you need to give a pep talk too.”

Kara gives her a slight frown, letting Lena know that her self-effacing comment has not been forgotten and will be brought up later, before obediently scampering away through the crowd.

* * * * * * * * * *

Kara brushes off Mon-El’s tuxedo one last time. “Are you sure about this?” she asks one last time.

He gives her a fond, somewhat exasperated look. “I swear that you’re more worried about this than I am.”

“Is this some kind of mating ritual?” Kikkikkikkikkik asks.

Kara ignores them. “It’s just… once you’re out there, once you’ve done this, there is no going back.”

“So be it,” he says offhandedly, shrugging at her somewhat scandalised look. “Look, that whole thing was always more your… thing than mine.”

“I know,” she says, sighing. “I guess I just can’t help worrying.”

“Relax, Kara,” he says. “I’ve got this.”

She gives him one last tight hug for good luck, then lets him go.

* * * * * * * * * *

“This city,” Lena starts, “has seen incredible changes over the last few years…”

* * * * * * * * * *

“There are more aliens here,” Mon-El says, “than ever before. They are more visible than ever before…”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Over the last few weeks, I have walked among many of them, gotten to know their stories. Why they’re here, what they left behind…”

* * * * * * * * * *

“They are not here to exploit humanity,” Mon-El says, “Nor here to harm us. They’re here to find a new life, a new hope…”

* * * * * * * * * *

“And let’s not pretend that they don’t have anything to offer us,” Lena says in a voice that invites the audience to chuckle with her. “Many of these aliens are from space faring cultures. With their help, we could have space craft - proper spaceships - within the decade. That’s not mentioning advances in materials technology, robotics and many other fields. And not to forget the physical and mental capabilities of differing species when they surpass us. Frankly, they’re a potential gold mine.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“And we have the chance to learn from these others, these different cultures,” Mon-El says, his voice ringing with sincerity. “Where they have succeeded, we can try and emulate them. When they have fallen, we can try and learn from their mistakes instead of making them ourselves.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Some don’t need our help, just what every other immigrant to this country needs, protection from discrimination. Some can even pass as humans. Some help us far more than we can ever help them, like Supergirl.

“But some do need our help adjusting to this planet, a friendly hand until they can get on their feet, and that’s where this charity comes in.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“With a little aid, we can set up temporary accommodation for those who need it. I’m sure everyone will agree that we will all benefit from that. A little more, and we’ll be able to start providing specialist nutritional and other similar supplements for aliens who need it. We also aim to provide English classes for anyone who doesn’t already understand the language and eventually translators for aliens who can’t physically speak the language.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“This charity will provide the simple things that will make the lives of everyone in this city, this country, this planet better. And doing this will make *us* better, more like we aspire to be.

“At the moment, we’re a galactic backwater, a place aliens come when they have precious few other options. This charity is one of the first steps to changing that. This is National City, this is America, this is Earth.

“Let’s make this a place where aliens want to be.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“And I know you’re all thinking - who is this guy? You’ve heard from Lena Luthor, business woman, philanthropist. You know her. You don’t know me.

“You’ve heard about aliens who can pass for human, who can skip by all the prejudice that other, more obvious aliens face. I’m one of those. My name is Mon-El. I’m a refugee from a destroyed planet, and ever since I arrived on Earth, I’ve been putting my life on the line, helping Supergirl protect National City.

“I’m stepping forward now because this is more important than punching bad guys in the face. Though I’m planning on still doing my fair share of that as well.” He pauses, waiting for the laughter to die down. “Doing this I can save more lives, make more lives better than I can out there on the front lines. I’m hoping you’ll all join me, in whatever way you can.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Kara nips in next to Lena whilst Mon-El is giving his speech. What you said, what you’ve done here has meant so much to me, she wants to say, but can’t for obvious reasons.

Not just at the moment, anyway.

Not out loud, at any rate.

So, instead, she takes Lena’s hand in hers, squeezes it by the tiniest of increments.

She hopes Lena understands what she’s trying to convey.

* * * * * * * * * *

The applause after Mon-El concludes his speech is thunderous.

“Wow,” Kara says as she hugs him hard. “I never knew you had a talent for public speaking like that,” she continues as she draws back.

“Yes,” Lena says. “Congratulations.”

Mon-El’s eyes flicker away from Kara’s for a moment. “Ah, well, about that… There’s something I need to talk to you about. Later. Right now, I have to make the rounds and try to convince as many people as possible that they want to contribute.”

“Of course,” Kara says. “I’ll just… be around?” She smiles and gives him a small wave as Lena leads him off towards the mayor and a few of her cronies.

Well, if nothing else, she’s fairly certain she could use the evening to work a few leads for one of the stories she’s working on at the moment.

* * * * * * * * * *

“So,” Kara prompts him once they’re back at her apartment.

It’s… not entirely unwelcome that he’s ended up here. He was so wonderful tonight - he’s come so far since his first arrival - it doesn’t feel like she’s settling anymore if she actually…

Well, they’ve both come a long way since they first met is what she’s thinking.

And, well, it’s nice having his solidity sitting next to her on the couch, just knowing that she could reach out and hug him, as hard as she’d like.

Mon-El for his part can’t seem to meet her eyes, and for the first time in… in ages with Mon-El she actually feels concerned. “So,” he says, “You were wondering how I got to be so good at public speaking?”

“Um, no? I just thought you did a really good job. I’m sorry if…” Kara waves a hand in the air.

“Well, the thing is… I might have had some experience.”

“As a guard?”

He continues to not meet his eyes. “As the prince,” he says very quietly.

Oh.

Oh.

“I thought you said…” She’s not sure what she’s feeling. Maybe she should be upset, Maybe she should be angry. Mostly she just feels confused.

Mon-El huddles in on himself. “I wanted to have been that person. The person who’d give up the space on his ship for someone he’d known most of his life but… but I wasn’t. I’m not. I hated that person so much, I just wanted… I just wanted to be someone else.”

And, oh, Kara can relate to that. For so long she wanted to be just Kara Danvers, normal human being extraordinaire, that…

Well, let’s face it, it’s still what she gets off to.

She hugs him tightly. Underneath her arms, he’s shivering, like he might fall to pieces.

“I hear you,” she says.

“I’m sorry,” he says, still refusing to look at her. “I know how much faith you’ve been putting in me, and I’ve been lying all this time.”

She can’t help breaking into a snorting out-loud laugh and finally, finally he looks at her with a wounded expression on his face.

“It’s not funny!” he says. “I’ve been stressing about how to tell you for weeks.”

His expression sends her into peals of fresh laughter, and she can’t help leaning in to kiss his cheek in between giggles, which appears to at least mollify him a little.

“I didn’t know your guard,” she says when she can finally speak. “I didn’t know you as a prince. But you’re committed full time, poured your heart into setting up a charity that’s not going to help you in the slightest. And I like that person. A lot.”

He looks down at her, eyes vulnerable. “You really don’t despise me for lying about this?”

“It’s… really not as big a deal for me as it obviously is for you,” she says, squeezing him. “But hopefully it’ll do you some good, talking to me about it.” And then, because she really can’t imagine a better time for this than now, she adds, “Talking with your girlfriend about it, if you’d like me to be.”

He blinks at her for a moment, then grins. “That is… possibly the least graceful way I’ve ever seen anyone ask someone else out.”

She lets him go so she can punch him in the arm, only half mock offended. “Hey,” she says. “You take that back!”

“No,” he says, obviously trying his best for smug. “Definitely the worst. Zero points, Kara Zor-El.”

“*You’re* the worst,” she accuses. “You’re definitely the-“

He leans in and kisses her on the mouth, tongue and all. 

It’s… well, honestly kissing like that is a human thing that Kara’s never quite got. And apparently a Daxamite thing?

Pressing closed mouth kisses as a sign of affection? Sure. Kissing like this? It just doesn’t do anything for her. It was actually something her and Alex used to commiserate over, but judging by some of the things that Kara’s really tried hard to avoid seeing over the last few months, Alex had just been kissing the wrong people.

Maybe that’s true for Kara too, but if so Mon-El isn’t the right person. Or maybe not yet? Maybe it’ll just come later.

In any case, Kara makes the appropriate noises and responses. She’s gotten good at that. Just part of being Kara Danvers, Ordinary Person.

They remain kissing for some time. Granted, Kara’s going over a column she’s writing tomorrow and the details she’s going to give to the reporter who was actually officially covering the gala, but well. It seems to make Mon-El happy, and that’s what’s important. It isn’t until Mon-El’s hands start moving towards her breasts that Kara suddenly undergoes a quiet freak out and jerks away.

Oh Rao, she’s in a relationship. That means sex. Mon-El’s definitely going to expect sex, if she knows him at all.

She’s not ready for this. She’s really not ready.

“Sorry,” Mon-El says, moving away across the couch, hands raised.

“Oh, really, not a problem,” Kara says, trying to be as convincing as possible. She’s not entirely certain she succeeds. “I just remembered- just remembered I have a early day tomorrow.” It’s a lie, but a small one, but she really, really can’t be in here with him any longer. 

“Sure,” he says. “If that’s what you want. If there’s… there’s anything you want to talk about, at any time, you have my number.”

It’s… actually enough to make Kara relax. A little. But she still needs him out of here, for the moment. “Sure,” she says, smiling at him a little more naturally. “Thanks.”

He seems a little hesitant so she brings him in for a tight hug and a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says.

He makes a face. “Probably not tomorrow. Charity stuff.”

Yeah, she might miss seeing him at the DEO, fighting with him on a regular basis. But, honestly? He actually seems happier doing this.

She waves him out of the door, then grabs her phone. _Are you free? I need to talk to someone_ , she texts Lena and it’s true. She does. And it’s not like she’d really feel comfortable talking to Alex about this.  
 _About stuff_  
 _Now_  
 _Emergency_

_Are you alright?_ comes the response a minute or so later.

Which - yes? No?   
_Mostly_ , she settles for. Which probably isn’t going to allay Lena’s worry, but it’s the best she can do at the moment.

_I’ll be at my apartment in half an hour. Unless you want me to come over to yours_ , Lena responds and immediately Kara relaxes, feeling like she can breath again.

_Yours will be fine_ , she texts

Everything’s going to be alright. Lena’s going to make it fine. 

* * * * * * * * * *

When the elevator opens, Lena’s already in her doorway, looking out with quietly worried eyes. She immediately rushes over and hugs Kara. Who, honestly, can’t help feeling a little warmed by this. Lena’s always… so in control that seeing her reserve break like this, for Kara, is, well…

Of course, it doesn’t make the weight in her stomach feel any less heavy. The weight that’s completely unconnected to Mon-El and that whole bundle of… whatever.

The weight she’s really going to need to face first.

Kara just lets herself relax into Lena’s hug for a few long minutes before steeling herself to draw back.

“Okay,” Lena says, examining her. “What’s wrong?”

Probably best to just rip the bandage off, as the human saying goes. “I’m Supergirl,” she says, already wincing in anticipation of Lena’s response.

Lena’s face immediately locks down, goes blank. “You’re… Supergirl?”

“Yes?” Kara tries and starts shuffling back towards the elevator in anticipation.

Lena holds up a hand, stilling her. “Come inside,” she says almost emotionlessly, which is… way better than Kara was expecting? 

Yay?

Lena leads Kara inside, waves her towards the couch, then disappears in the direction of her bedroom, phone in hand. Kara doesn’t quite mean to listen, but kind of overhears anyway as Lena dials a number.

“Sorry, kind of busy at the moment,” Winn’s voice comes over the phone after it’s rung a few times.

“I just need to talk to someone for a while,” Lena says. “Talk at, even. Feel free to keep raiding.”

Kara can’t help feeling a little mixed emotions at this. It’s good that Lena is reaching out. Really good. After some gentle nagging, she’s reached the stage where she’ll sometimes even phone Kara - generally after nightmares. And, of course, in those cases Kara usually ends up heading over to Lena’s anyway, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep.

It’s just… She just kind of wishes Lena was phoning her, instead of about her.

“Aaaaargh,” Winn says indecisively. “Okay, feel free to talk for a few minutes, then you’ll have my undivided attention.”

“You really don’t have to,” Lena says, sounding so affectionate that Kara makes an executive decision to really concentrate on shutting down her hearing.

She really shouldn’t be listening to this.

It’s only quarter of an hour later when Lena emerges from her room, looking a lot less stiff.

“I’m sorry,’ she says. “I’m honestly not usually this…” she waves a hand in a way that would undoubtedly be casual to an ordinary observer, but this is Kara. She’s learned at least some of Lena’s ticks over the last several months.

“It’s fine,” she says quietly. “I understand it’s a lot. Especially with the whole…” she waves a hand, meant to try and encompass the whole Luthor/Super complicated mess.

“So,” Lena says, curling up in a chair so she can see Kara and Kara can’t help but feel immediately a bit bereft, because Lena is not *next* to her, but she can hardly say anything right at the moment. “You had a problem,” she continues, looking at Kara with concerned eyes.

Oh, yes.

That.

Kara looks away, unable to meet Lena’s eyes. “It’s embarrassing,” she says, huddling into the side of the couch. “It’s, um. Okay, I’ve haven’t exactly had the best history with sex.” Lena makes a noise and Kara can’t help looking up to see Lena looking utterly miserably at her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lena asks.

Kara blinks, confused. “Say… anything?”

“I wouldn’t have had sex with you if I’d *known*.”

It still takes precious seconds for Kara to figure out what Lena’s referring to.

Oh.

“*Oh*!” Kara says. “Um, oh, I wasn’t talking about that! That’s… Honestly, I really haven’t been thinking of that as sex at all.” Just the thought - connecting what she has with Lena with sex - makes her huddle into the couch still further.

“Why?” Lena asks her, a cool tone entering her voice. “Because if it’s between two women, it doesn’t count?”

Kara can’t help gaping at her. “No?” she says. “I mean, I get how it could sound like that - and please don’t tell Alex I said anything that even vaguely resembles that, I’ll never hear the end of it - but, no. No. What we’ve been doing is…” she stops and stammers, trying to figure out exactly how she can explain the clear and fundamental difference between what she and Lena did and sex.

‘It isn’t something I had to suffer through for a relationship. In fact it was kind of fun,’ is probably not the best way to explain it, even if it is the first thing that pops into her head.

“Fine,” she finally says miserably, her eyes falling to the ground again. “It was sex.” The words are bitter in her mouth. Even if the word still doesn’t really fit, somehow. “Not that it matters, now. Not that it was what I’m talking about.” She attempts to huddle in on herself still further. “I’m going out with Mon-El, now. As of this evening. And that’s definitely going to involve sex.” 

She stares at the ground, and hopes it swallows her up.

This has been a disaster.

Lena doesn’t reply for long moments. When Kara finally looks up, it’s just as Lena smooths her features out, leaving only what looks like genuine concern in its place. “You know you don’t have to have sex with him - or anyone - if you don’t want to.”

Kara hugs herself. “That’s just it. I do?” That last comes out a lot less solid than she was really aiming for, so she tries again. “I do.” There, a lot better. There is excitement, underlying the nervousness after all. “It’s just like I said - bad history. Um. It’s…” She feels her cheeks light up. “You’re aware of the whole kryptonian super-strength thing?” she asks. “Silly question, of course you are,” she continues before Lena has a chance to reply. “Well that applies down there too. Contractions can equal splat.” She clenches her fist to demonstrate. “I ruined a vibrator finding that out.” She’d been so embarrassed buying that. She feels pathetically grateful when Lena gets up out of the chair and slips onto the couch next to her, resting an arm on her. “And a few more before I learned how to… relax. But, obviously, relaxing isn’t great for, well, enjoying sex. And then there’s the touch thing.”

Lena draws back as if stung. “Touch thing?”

Kara hovers her hand just over Lena’s, asking permission. “Not that kind of touch thing,” she says.

Lena takes her hand by way response and Kara wants nothing more than be able to sink into Lena, touch her as if she isn’t as fragile as a dream. “It’s… You know the way that I can kind of shrug off gunfire, and it doesn’t cripple me with pain?” She shrugs. “It’s not that I can’t feel, it’s just that I can’t feel *enough*.” She hugs herself. “Not ever, really.”

Lena wraps her arms around Kara and she gratefully collapses into her, as much as she is able. “Oh, Kara,” she says.

“Still, you know, superpowers, saving people and all. I wouldn’t trade them away,” she says, then adds a little guiltily. “Certainly not now. But it’s just… with my previous boyfriends, it wasn’t as though I could explain all this, and sex is a part of relationships on Earth, so I just… went along with it.”

“That’s not true,” Lena growls angrily. “Sex doesn’t have to be a part of relationships, and no one should…” Her eyes narrow. “Did Little Jimmy try and pressure you….?”

“No, no,” Kara says, a little frantically. “I can’t imagine he’d ever… I can’t deny that it was one of the things that I’d considered, that I found attractive, that I’d actually be able to talk to him about this.”

“Good,” Lena says. “I didn’t think that he was the sort, but you never know.”

There’s something in her tone that makes Kara resolve to never let her know the identity of any of her former boyfriends. “It truly wasn’t their fault,” she says anyway. “I just wanted to be normal Kara Danvers and, well, sex is normal.”

“Normal is overrated.”

“Not that any of this matters,” Kara says. “I mean, Mon-El is tough enough for me to touch him properly, strong enough to touch me properly. It’s just… I’m freaking out a little, because of past… not so goodness. I am excited, it’s just…”

Lena takes a breath and releases it slowly, her expression unreadable. “Talk to him about it. If he’s worth you, he’ll listen.” What Lena might do if she think he isn’t hangs unspoken over them.

Kara nuzzles lightly into her. “Thanks,” she says, feeling better for the first time since she’d started freaking out. “I just needed to talk to someone about this. To talk sense into me. And there’s literally no one else I’d trust to talk to about something like this.”

There’s something indefinable in Lena’s tone, her face still shuttered, as she says. “I’m glad I could be there for you. Like you have been for me.”

Kara considers Lena, the way she’s been all evening. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” she asks, and really hopes that she hasn’t spoiled everything.

Lena smiles at her, an indefinable edge to her expression as she studies Kara like she’s memorising her as she strokes her hair. Stroking her hair roughly, in a way that might be uncomfortable for a human, but wasn’t quite enough for Kara. Better, though. “Not a thing,” she says.


	8. Chapter 8

In the end, she doesn’t talk to Mon-El, at least at first. Their relationship is too fresh, too new. And she wants this. She does.

And the touch - the touch is *glorious*. She can hardly get enough of it - she now always has an excuse to reach out to touch, to hug him, to really feel him against her hands, her arms, her side, her face. It makes her feel, well, normal in a way that nothing else really has since she arrived on this planet.

Sometimes she thinks that she could just touch him for days, a rock solid centre in a universe of bubbles and spun glass.

Sometimes she worries a little that she’s just using Mon-El for his body, but… She likes him. She genuinely likes him, especially now that he found a cause he really believes in.

And she wants to make him happy, she does. So what’s the point in risking all that?

Besides, from walking in on him one too many times, she’s fairly sure where he stands on the whole sex thing.

The first time - well, the first few times really, but the first time especially - is kind of a disaster from her point of view. Even concentrating on just trying to not relax around him, she keeps having these moments of panic before she remembers that yes, she can actually have sex with him properly.

But the very first time she has one of these… minor panic fits, he stops, looking down at her with concern. “Is everything alright?” he asks. “Do you want me to..?” he gestures in the air, probably indicating stop. Kara thinks.

She flushes, embarrassed. “No, no,” she says. “It’s just… I’ve only had sex with humans before.”

“Ah,” he says mock grandly. “Another mark in favour of the more liberal Daxamite education.”

She makes a face. “What, sex with aliens is actually part of the syllabus?”

He shrugs. “Well, it was certainly part of *my* learning plan. Mother always used to say…” His face falls and Kara hugs him, and that’s how they spend the night, curled up around each other.

After that Kara redoubles her efforts to mask any problems. She’s sure that once she’s just pushed past these issues, everything will be fine.

It’s all she’s ever wanted from sex, isn’t it? Someone who can make her feel normal?

And, well, it does get better, slowly. It’s not that the sex is awful - it’s just… there. Every time he focusses on her, she can’t help thinking that she could be getting herself off better right now, without all the palaver. And, honestly, she isn’t a massive fan of anyone touching her breasts but her, no matter how rough they can be.

It is a little better when she can ride him, at least, directing how things go.

But still, she can’t help feeling that the only reason to have sex is the way that it obviously makes him feel. And that’s enough, as long as it’s when she’s in the right mood and doesn’t happen too often.

She can’t deny it’s a little disheartening, though. It’s… This is everything she ever thought she wanted from sex, and it turns out that maybe she was wrong about that. That she never gets to have this. 

Normality in a relationship. Whatever that is.

What she really wants is to be able to talk about it with someone. Well, with just Lena, really. But Lena is currently pulling a disappearing act that makes her previous stint post Game Night look positively stifling by comparison. She rarely replies to texts, has begged off Game Night and is even always busy at lunch times.

It’s… Kara obviously spoiled things, and Lena won’t even take her apologies.

So, instead, Kara spends an evening on the couch, hugging a pillow, eating ice cream and berating herself for not even being able to enjoy this relationship with Mon-El as much as she should.

Aside from the touch, of course. The touch makes it all worthwhile.

It’s all she ever wanted, isn’t it?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You never told me that this was all tied to Empire Minerals,” Kara says accusingly as she marches up to Snapper.

He looks up at her phlegmatically. “Well, if you couldn’t figure that out for yourself, I didn’t think you deserved to know.”

“How was I supposed to find out if you kept me focussed on the other end of things?”

He sighs. “Look, I never said this, but you’ve got a good head for investigation. You were a natural for looking into the sharp end of the conflict mineral business. As for why I didn’t tell you that it was all tied to Empire Minerals - it isn’t exactly a secret around here that you’re buddy-buddy with the CEO of L-Corp. Why would I want to put that relationship at risk?”

“So instead you were going to let me find out that I’ve been investigating one of her subsidiaries when the story published?”

“Seems I was right about it causing me less headaches that way. I take it that I don’t need to tell you that you can’t mention anything about this until we’re ready.”

Kara grits her teeth, but ducks her head. As much as she thinks that Lena deserves to know about this as soon as possible - so she can do something about stopping one of her companies doing things like funding civil wars and paying militia to clear inconvenient civilians out of the way of mining projects - she understands Snapper’s point of view. He doesn’t know Lena like she does.

And, well, at least it won’t as hard keeping that secret as it would have been a few weeks ago.

“Actually,” James’ voice interrupts. “I was coming to speak with you about that.”

“Oh, great,” Snapper says. “What have I done to attract the attention of the great and all powerful James Olsen?”

James good-humouredly ignores that as he walks up to Snapper’s work area. “I heard about this story. Good work, by the way. But I was going to suggest another twist on it. The company formerly known as LexCorp found doing something dodgy has been… so very done after all. Very Dog Bites Man. Now, if we made an arrangement with L-Corp for full and total exclusive access as they clean this cesspit of an operation up… now that could be cooking with gas. That’s much more Man Bites Dog.”

It’s… it’s a brilliant idea, and Kara couldn’t be prouder of James than in that moment. And, almost better than that, it means he’s finally willing to give Lena the benefit of the doubt, to give her this opportunity to clean up some of the ill her company has done, without unduly tarnishing her reputation.

If Snapper wasn’t there, she’d probably hug him. As it is, she settles for smiling brightly at him.

Snapper glowers at Kara. “And I suppose this was you telling tales out of school, huh?”

Kara’s about to launch into a furious defence of her innocence when James says, “I have other ways of finding things out, Snapper. I do run this conglomeration after all.”

Snapper studies her. “Huh,” he says, then turns to look at James. “And I guess you’ve got such an agreement ready to go.”

“Not yet,” James replies. “But I think we both know someone who could get one.”

They both turn to look at Kara.

Oh, wow. This has the potential to be awkward

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I would recommend against signing this,” Jingfei - the head of L-Corp legal department - says. “It gives CatCo far too much access to sensitive information.”

Kara fidgets under Lena’s contemplative look. She just hopes that… whatever this is between them won’t spoil this deal. It’s for the best. For everyone.

“And if we don’t, you won’t give us the exact details of what you found out and you’ll print the story tomorrow?” Lena asks Kara.

Kara shrugs. “That’s my understanding.”

“I’ll agree to this on one condition - you’re the person who controls access.”

Kara can’t help smiling at Lena for that. No matter what else, Lena still seems to trust her. That’s… that’s something, isn’t it? “I’ll see what they say,” Kara says and steps out of the room to call James and Snapper.

It’s agreed - if exceedingly grudgingly so by Snapper - and the new legal papers are emailed over. Jingfei reads them over and gives Lena a reluctant nod, who then signs them with a flourish.

Jingfei collects the papers and marches off, looking like she’s about to mutter mutinously about her CEO as soon as she’s out of earshot, and Lena looks at Kara. “If there’s nothing else,” she says, giving Kara the Eyebrow.

Kara hesitates. On the one hand, she’s gotten what she was sent here for, and journalistic common sense is telling her not to rock the boat. On the other… she’s really missed Lena, and this is the first face to face time she’s had since she messed everything up.

She hasn’t even been able to watch scifi shows with Winn without getting emotional for no good reason. He’s been most put out by that.

At least she’s been able to get some updates on Lena from Maggie and Winn. Lena seems to find time to talk to them, if not her.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

Lena looks a little startled. “What for?” she asks.

Kara stares at her. “For whatever I did that drove you away.”

“You haven’t done anything,” Lena says tiredly.

“Lena, I haven’t seen you since- since the evening I bugged you with my problems. I obviously did *something*.”

“It’s… it’s not something I really have time to go into at the moment.”

“When, then?” Kara looks at her desperately. “Lena, you mean so much to me. I want to try and fix whatever went wrong.”

Lena closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again. “Tonight. I’ll call you tonight to let you know when I’m free and we can talk about it then.”

Kara almost goes to hug her before stopping herself. She’s not sure that she’s still allowed to. Instead, she waves tentatively, smiling at her. “Till tonight, then.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Lena answers the door, it’s with a glass of wine in hand.

“You’re drinking?” Kara blurts.

Lena smiles mirthlessly. “This feels like a conversation that’s going to go easier that way.” She turns to lead Kara into her apartment, leaving Kara with a deepening sense of foreboding.

She’d thought… she’d thought this would lead to them getting back to normal.

Now she isn’t so sure.

Lena sprawls on a chair, observing Kara as she takes a seat on the edge of another chair. “I’ve started seeing a therapist,” she says abruptly.

“Good,” Kara says. “That’s… good.” She’s been trying to get Lena to do something about her problems, her nightmares for as long as she’s known about them, but Lena’s always been resistant until now.

And it is good. Kara’s glad for Lena. She just wishes that it didn’t feel like Lena had taken this step to replace Kara in another part of her life.

Silence falls between them, awkwardly.

“So,” Kara says.

By way of answer, Lena drains the glass she’s currently holding before refilling it from a bottle standing next to the chair. Kara’s… fairly sure that isn’t the first glass she’s had this evening.

“So,” Lena echoes, her words more deliberately precise than usual. “You want to know what you did wrong.” She smiles bitterly. “Have you ever considered that it really might not be about you?”

“It isn’t?” Kara asks, confused. “Then why-?” She shakes her head. That’s not important. “Is it anything I can help with?”

“No,” Lena says. “It’s really not.” She takes another drink from her glass. “It’s my own fault and only I can fix it.”

Kara, well, Kara disagrees. But it’s Lena’s call. And at least- “So you haven’t really been avoiding me,” she says with a rush of relief. “You’ve just been busy.”

Lena looks away. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Kara wrinkles her brow. “Now I’m confused.”

The return of that bitter smile. “Like I said, it’s my own fault. I should have known better. Just because I take a girl into my heart, have sex repeatedly with her, even *sleep* with her… It doesn’t mean that she returns my feelings. Especially if she can’t even admit to herself that we even had sex.”

“It’s not-“ Kara starts then stops. Really not the point at the moment. “I’m sorry,” she says instead, the only thing she can think of to say.

Stupid, stupid. Why had she been so stupid?

Lena closes her eyes. “No,” she says tiredly. “*I’m* sorry. That was- This is why I don’t like to drink.” She puts the glass down. “I just didn’t know of another way I could actually talk about any of this.” She smiles thinly. “I’m not exactly good about talking about things that matter to me, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Yes?” Kara tries.

Lena’s smile widens fractionally. “So there you have the pathetic truth of it,” Lena says. “I fell in love with the first woman that I got at all close to in… way too long, and when she actually went out with the boy that she’d been orbiting for months, I got my heart broken.” She sighs and flops back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll heal. I’ll get better. I just need some distance for a while until things stop being so raw.”

“Of course,” Kara says, feeling a little sick. No matter what Lena says, this is all her fault. She… she doesn’t know how she could have been so… so oblivious. “Whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” Lena says, looking back down at her with an unsteady smile. “And thank you for coming to me about Empire Minerals. Truly. I’ll have the guts of the people responsible for garters.”

And isn’t that an image? Kara shakes her head briefly. “You don’t have me to thank for that. It was James’ decision.”

Lena’s eyebrows shoot up at that. “Huh. Well, pass my thanks onto… James for me.”

“I will,” Kara says, then swallows. “Look after yourself, okay?”

“I’ll try my best.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the final part of the story. Not to mention the moment of truth - how many people currently subscribing will like the story enough to kudos it. (Shakes head) I've really never had this happen.
> 
> Fingers crossed I've managed to stick the landing.

“Congratulations,” Kara says, hugging first Alex, then Maggie, who still looks a little startled by that every time.

“Eh, so we got the right guy eventually,” Alex says. But despite her words a grin still tugs at the edge of her mouth.

“Despite the fact that it wasn’t Vintok?” teases Maggie.

“He steps out of line, we’ll get him. Maybe even with the help of-“ Alex makes finger guns at Maggie, “official DEO Alien Consultants.”

Maggie rolls her eyes and grins at Kara. “Is she ever going to get tired of being smug about coming up with that idea? An idea she stole off Lena Luthor, no less.”

Kara laughs. “Evidence would suggest no.”

Alex sticks her tongue out at them. “You’re both just jealous that you didn’t come up with it first.”

“Yeah, babe,” Maggie says, laughing. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Here, Kara,” Alex says, throwing her a bag. “I got you takeout from Noonan’s on the way back.”

“I love you,” Kara says sincerely, ripping the bag open and digging in.

“So…” Alex says once she has cruelly trapped Kara with food.

“Mrfle?” Kara says suspiciously.

“Look,” Alex says. “I know I’m not the world’s greatest expert on relationships yet, but they take work.”

“Hey!” Maggie says, smacking her gently. “I’ll have you know I’m very low maintenance.” She sobers and turns to Kara. “But, seriously, listen to your sister about this.”

“Hgle,” Kara says, feeling very picked upon.

“I know you’re going through… something you’re not willing to talk with me about-” Alex says, actually looking a little hurt.

Kara swallows her current mouthful and lays her hand over Alex’s. “You’d know I’d talk to you if I could,” she says. “I just… can’t.”

She wants to, more than anything. She wants to talk about how upset she’s been about the whole situation. About how stupid she’s been, with Lena.

About how she misses just hanging out with Lena so much, and it’s all her own fault. She hasn’t even tried to see Lena since…

But, of course, she hasn’t been able to talk to Alex about any of this, because how could she do it without explaining *why*, and that’d feel like betraying Lena all over again. Especially after how she had to get drunk in order to talk about her problems at all. She hasn’t even been able to ask Maggie or Winn about how Lena’s doing, because that might lead to questions as well.

Not that she deserves to know.

Basically, she’s been a pressure cooker of misery, and she knows it’s been unfair to everyone. She just hasn’t seen another option.

Alex turns her hand over and laces her fingers through Kara’s. “All I’m saying is… you’ve got to talk to Mon-El more. He knows there’s something wrong that you aren’t talking to him about. He feels like you’re shutting him out.”

“You know it’s bad when he comes to Alex to try and get some answers,” Maggie adds dryly.

And, oh great, there’s more guilt. Just what she needs.

She looks down. “I’ll try,” she says.

She is trying. She is. It’s just - she can’t exactly blame him for feeling like she’s shutting him out of something, when she is. She can’t exactly blame him for thinking that if they’re going out, they should share things like this. After all, she’d probably feel the same way.

She can’t help feeling a little ashamed at the relief she feels that this distance between them has meant that they’ve been having less sex.

She keeps telling herself that it’s all she’s wanted from sex, all she’s ever wanted, but it’s sounding a little hollow even to her these days.

The worst thing is that she’s fairly sure that Mon-El would understand if she just told him. Accept it. But he likes sex so much, she knows he’d be disappointed. And she can’t bear to inflict any more of that on him.

At least the touch is still good, even if it does make her feel guilty. Why should she get all she needs if he isn’t?

“Hey, look,” Alex says gently, having apparently decided that she’d been silent for long enough. “I understand you’re skittish. Lord knows I would be with your dating history.”

“Hey,” Kara says, feeling the need to defend the honour of her ex-boyfriends.

“Oh, hush,” Alex says, who apparently has no such compunctions. Not that she ever liked any of them to begin with. “Can you honestly tell me you saw a future with any of them?”

Kara stays silent because, well.

Alex turns to look at Maggie, her smile becoming slightly soppy. “But it’s *so* good when it’s the right person, Kara,” she says. “The whole butterflies in your stomach, burning up at their touch, can’t wait to spend more time with them experience.” Kara can get totally get the last, but the first two? Alex and her had used to laugh at them as cliches, but apparently they’re real? “Even just kissing until you’re both dizzy,” Alex says with a happy sigh, and Kara still can’t quite believe that’s actually a thing, except that apparently it is. “Not to mention waking up in bed next to someone you love and just laying there, knowing they’re next to you. It’s all so worth it if you can just find the right person.”

Kara can almost swear that she hears a needle scratching the surface of a record as she hears that last item.

Oh.

*Oh*.

“I’ve got to go,” she says, standing up and almost, but not quite, forgetting to grab the rest of the takeout. “I’ve… there’s something I’ve got to do.”

And then she’s off.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It isn’t as simple as just that, of course.

She texts Lena, _Can we talk?_

Five minutes later the response comes. _I don’t think we have anything to talk about_  
 _Not yet_  
 _Sorry_

She winces. It’s not unexpected, but still. _There’s something I’d like to say to you_  
 _Please_

She jitters around, waiting around for the response. She hopes, even though she knows… She wouldn’t blame…

She hopes.

_I can pop by your apartment later_   
_8?_

Kara winces again. Lena visiting her rather than the other way around is a very… Lena-ish way of minimising her vulnerability by going on the offence.

_I’ll be waiting_ , she texts back.

The rest of the day is spent in a mixture of impatience and nervousness. The clean up of Empire Minerals is proceeding apace - the CEO and various employees have been fired, brought up on charges wherever possible. Sourcing new minerals is a little more tricky and is still proceeding. The first big exclusive has already been published and she’s currently working on a followup column on where all the bad guys are now.

Somehow she manages to concentrate long enough to get at least a decent first draft done before she calls it a day and hurries back home to immediately start busying herself around the apartment, tidying. She tells Alex, Winn, even Mon-El that she’s busy tonight, though she feels immensely guilty about that last one.

But she just can’t think about anything else until this is done.

Finally, finally there is a knock at the door. After a brief check to see that it is indeed Lena, Kara opens the door.

“Hi!” she says, wincing a little at how manic she sounds. ‘Please, come in. Sit down.”

Lena looks at her warily but does as she invites, perching on the edge of a chair, keeping her eyes on Kara the whole time.

“Aren’t you going to sit down?” she asks.

Kara sits down, then immediately stands up again and paces around a bit. “Sorry,” she says. “Just very, very nervous, I guess.”

“So,” Lena says. “You had something to say to me?”

Kara stops and spins on one foot to face Lena. “Yes! I, um, I’m just not quite sure how.”

A smile flickers at the corner of Lena’s mouth. “Maybe at the beginning?”

“Okay, um - I like you!”

Lena’s face goes blank. “I’m aware of that, Kara,” she says levelly.

“No, I mean-“ Why does this have to be so hard? “There’s a lot of stuff I don’t get about human relationships. Like kissing with tongues - I mean, why?” A frown crosses her face. “Or, well, not just humans given that Mon-El appears to like it too.” She notices Lena looking a little thin lipped and hurriedly continues. “Not that that’s the point, it’s just… Alex was talking about all the things she thinks are great about relationships and one thing really struck a chord with me. She mentioned waking up in bed next to the person you love and all I could think of was you.”

Lena’s expression is utterly stony. “You love me?” she says emotionlessly.

“I don’t *know*,” Kara says, feeling wretched. “I don’t know what I feel, what to call it. You make me feel warm, happy. I like being curled up next to you. I like waking up next to you. Is that love? Is that like in the way that a girlfriend is supposed to feel? I just don’t know. I’ve always kind of defaulted to someone else telling me, one way or another, that they wanted me to be their girlfriend.“ Well, often Alex defaulted to that role, but still. “It’s a human concept - I always assumed that humans knew best. And, well, you’ve only ever told me that you don’t want to go out with me.” Lena winces and Kara quickly returns to her actual point. “I’ve felt this way before, but it’s strong with you. Stronger than with Mon-El.” Maybe that would change if she kept on going out with him. Maybe not. “And I’d like to find out what it all means, if you’d be willing to find out with me.”

Lena huddles in on herself, looking down into her lap. “I- I don’t think you know how much I feel for you. This might be a fun experiment for a straight girl, but I’m already in so deep…” She hugs herself, looking more vulnerable than Kara can ever remember seeing her.

“I’ve never said I’m straight,” Kara says, a little offendedly.

Lena blinks. “You’re not?”

‘No!”

“Does your sister know? Because Maggie’s certainly under the impression you are.”

“It’s… never come up before. None of the girls I ever had crushes on liked me back - well, until now and I’m not sure you liked me when I was crushing on you - and when Alex was coming out, I didn’t want to take any of that away from her. Unless I’d thought she needed it.”

“Wait,” Lena says, holding up a hand. “You crushed on me?”

“Oh, yes. Way back when. You were all, well, you. But that faded as I really got to know you, got to be friends with you.” Kara screws up her face. “At least, it’s what I call a crush? It’s not like emotions come with a handy labelling system. And I like you so much now. I just- I just-” she waves her hands around in the air, unable to explain exactly what she means.

“Oh,” Lena collapses, the tension going out of her like a released bow string.

“I don’t know how I relate to normal human relationships though,” Kara says, quickly, hurriedly. “I’m not sure that I’m ever going to enjoy sex or kissing with tongues. I’ve got no idea what it is to look at someone and want them, or even really find them attractive apart from in a fairly abstract way. I… I trust you with all this in a way I’ve never trusted anyone else, but I don’t know if that’s what you want in a relationship.” If that’s the way Lena’d want her.

Lena pushes herself back in the chair, draws her legs up after her and rests her head on her knees for a while. “Ever since I got to National City,” she says eventually. “You’ve been the brightest part of it for me. Both as Kara and as Supergirl. You’ve made me feel safe, feel protected in a way that no one else ever has. You mean *so much* to me, Kara.” She draws a ragged breath. “I don’t need sex, Kara. I can’t pretend that I don’t find you attractive, that - at times - I don’t find you irresistibly hot. That you don’t take my breath away. But I don’t need sex.” Then she adds in a voice so small that Kara almost has to enhance her hearing to make it out. “But I’m afraid - sometimes - that I might need you.”

Kara goes over to her, rests her hand on Lena’s back, and it feels so good that Kara just wants to curl into her, press her body against her. “You don’t need me,” Kara says. “But I’m here if you ever want me.”

Lena brings her head up and Kara’s a little shock to find it tear stained. “I can’t imagine not wanting you,” she says with utter sincerity. “You say that you don’t like - specifically - kissing with tongues. What are your thoughts on kissing closed mouthed?”

“Oh,” Kara chirps. “That’s nice! It’s like- It’s like hugging with your lips.”

“That’s a compromise I can get behind,” Lena murmurs, and moves her head towards Kara’s.

Kara rapidly backs away. “Before we do any of that - and I am in favour, trust me - I have to break up with Mon-El.”

Lena looks at her flatly. “You asked me out before you’d broken up with your boyfriend,” she says flatly.

Kara looks confused. “Is that weird? I had no idea if you were actually still interested, or would be interested and, well, I do like him. Just not as much as you.” Even with the touching.

“It isn’t the normal etiquette,” Lena says blandly, then shakes her head. “But then I guess you’d better get on with it.” She gets to her feet and heads towards Kara’s bathroom, probably to clean herself up. “I’ll be at my apartment, if you’d like to come by afterwards.” She throws a smile over her shoulder over at Kara. A little wobbly, but still very much present. “Feel free to visit whenever.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kara knocks on the door of Mon-El’s apartment.

“Hey,” he says, his face lighting up when he answers the door. Kara dances away when he goes in for a kiss and his face falls again. “This… isn’t going to be a fun visit, is it?”

Kara shrugs apologetically. “Sorry,” she says, feeling wretched.

He sighs. “Well, I can’t say this came completely out of blue,” he says, smiling sadly. “But I’d hoped…” He shrugs. “Do you want to do this on the doorstep, or do you want to come in?”

“Come in?’ Kara suggests. It’s awkward enough doing this anyway, but she’d really prefer not being in public.

“Okay,” he says, disappearing into his apartment.

Kara follows him in and balances on the couch, opposite him. “It’s really not you,” she says. “It’s me.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

“But it’s true in this case! I’ve… I’ve been so wrapped up in trying to untangle what I want, what I like, what was just my powers and what I’m feeling.” She rolls her eyes. “For that matter, what’s me and what’s just my people. We just didn’t talk about this stuff at home. I mean, I don’t even know if just Kryptonians just don’t like kissing.”

“Oh, they like kissing alright. At least in my experience,” Mon-El says offhandedly. “What?” he says in answer to Kara’s stare. “It’s not my fault there’s truth in the old saw about the more repressed the Kryptonian, the more-“ he breaks off possibly sensing Kara’s incipient ire. “That’s not why I was going out with you, I swear. Well, okay, maybe it crossed my mind at first, way back when, but then I actually got to know you, and you’re kind of, you know, neat.” He smiles a little self consciously. “A little too neat for me, apparently.”

“That’s not it,” she chides him. “Honestly. I do like you. I just… realised I already liked someone else more.”

“Huh,” he says. “Ouch. James?”

“Lena,” she says.

He closes his eyes. “She would have been my second choice,” he jokes weakly.

“I do think we could have made it work,” she says. “Though if I had to do it again - communication. I could definitely have been better about that.” She makes a face. “Sorry about that.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That definitely wasn’t news to me. Sorry I couldn’t be…” he waves a hand in the air.

Kara has a quick flash of realisation where he’s coming from. “Oh, the thing that’s been getting me down the last few weeks? That… I can’t really apologise for? At least sincerely.” She winces. “That was… like I said, it involved confidences. I meant more… sex. There’s a lot of it that I’m just not interested in, and I probably should have made that clear.”

“Really?” he asks, looking distressed. “Kara, you really should have said something.”

“I know, I know. I just hoped… that it would get better.” She looks down. “I really did.”

“If it helps, I also think that’s a you thing.”

She really wishes she could hug him, but it’d just be cruel at this point. “Thanks,” she says. “It does.”

“I think-“ he says. “I think I probably knew that on some level as well. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she says. “Really.”

He makes a face. “Is it bad that that’s probably the one highlight of all that? Ever since I came out as an alien of at least moderate fame, there’s a fairly broad section of women in this city willing and able to sexually objectify me, and I am totally down with that?”

She laughs a little. “I don’t know how you survived before we officially started going out.”

He looks shifty. “I… didn’t? Sorry if I gave that impression.”

“I’m… glad,” she says and - a little to her surprise - she means it. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to go without.”

There’s a fumbling from the entrance, then Kikkikkikkikkik opens the door and stops when they see the two of them.

“Apologies if I interrupted anything,” they sign.

“No,” Kara signs. “I was just going.” She really can’t think of anything more she can say. “I’m really sorry about this,” she signs. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I just-”

“I get it,” he signs. “And I’ll be fine. It might just take a little while.” He attempts another weak smile. “At least I’ve got my work to occupy me.”

“And you’re doing a great job of it,” she signs.

Kikkikkikkikkik looks between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“Kara and I are dissolving our relationship,” Mon-El signs.

“It’s my fault,” Kara signs. “Look after him, please?”

Kikkikkikkikkik contemplates for a moment, then goes over to Mon-El to rub themselves against him as Kara sees herself out. From behind her, there’s a deep clicking noise, and Kara can’t help feeling a little better knowing that Kikkikkikkikkik will be there.

It’s awful. She should feel bad, and she does, but a larger part of her can only think Lena, Lena, Lena.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Wow,” Kara says as she enters the DEO lab. “You’re actually going to tell me what you’ve been working on.”

Alex and Lena are waiting for her there, the former with her arms crossed whilst rolling her eyes at Kara’s dramatics, the latter with her eyes quietly lighting up at the sight of Kara.

Honestly, that last might be Kara’s favourite thing about their relationship, that Lena feels comfortable enough to show the pleasure that she feels in Kara’s presence, even in company. It’s clearest and most distinct first thing in the morning, when Lena’s just opened her eyes, before all her shields are up and she’s so beautiful it takes Kara’s breath away, but this, this is good too.

“First, let’s have you step into the scanner,” Alex says. “I want to do this by the book.”

Kara maybe actually wants to stomp her foot at that. It’s bad enough that both of them have been sharing a project they won’t speak about. It’s worse that they’re dangling the hope of actually talking about it before cruelly snatching it away.

“Not until you tell me what this is all about,” she says.

“Grumpy, isn’t she?” Alex says to Lena with a smirk. Kara’s not entirely sure that she approves of this particular uptick in their relationship. Inside her head, she blames Maggie entirely for this.

“Do you think we should keep her in suspense for a little while longer?” Lena asks in response.

Alex hums. “Maybe. After all, we wouldn’t want to have the placebo effect interfere with the experiment.”

Traitors. Traitors one and all.

Kara somehow resists the impulse to stomp her foot and instead walks with what she considers to be admirable quiet dignity to the scanner.

“Uh-huh, baseline established,” Alex says.

Lena hands Kara a solid bracelet with an inset dial on the top. “Here,” she says. “Put this on.” When Kara looks at her, she shrugs and a little and smiles. “We think that - when the dial is turned clockwise all the way - it should block your powers in a way that shouldn’t cause nausea or other side effects, and ceases instantly when you take the bracelet off or turn the dial back.”

Kara fumbles the bracelet on eagerly, and twists the dial. Immediately, she feels more grounded, more real. The ever present pressure in her head eases as she can relax her grip on her sight and hearing. And - oh - as she slaps the wall with one hand, she can feel the slight sting on her hand and it feels a little like heaven.

“Powers do seem to be blocked,” Alex murmurs. “Kara, are you feeling any adverse side effect?”

“No,” Kara says and then, unable to stop herself, she hugs Lena - first lightly, then more firmly and then as hard as she can, and Lena’s a solid pillar of reinforced steel in her arms, only gently giving. “Thank you,” she murmurs in Lena’s ear and then gives Alex the same treatment.

“Hey, hey,” Alex says after she finished hugging her. “Step back in the scanner. We’ve got to make sure that the blocking effect is strictly temporary.”

Kara does so and then twists the dial back the other way. Immediately she feels her powers snap back into place. 

“All good,” Alex declares and Kara could almost dance for joy.

“Thank you both so much,” she ays. “This - to have my body completely under my own control again for the first time in forever - it means so much, guys.” Her sight splinters as she feels herself starting to cry a little.

“Hey,” Alex says, stepping forward to hug her. “No problem.”

Lena just gently glows with pleasure and joins in the hug.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So, how did you manage to create the bracelet?” Kara asks Lena later, when they’re alone in Lena’s apartment, Stargate Atlantis on in the background. “It doesn’t feel like kryptonite or blowing out my powers.”

Lena shrugs. “I might not have quite isolated a replicable mechanism for how your cells convert sunlight to other forms of energy - yet, at any rate - but apparently I did manage to work out how to temporarily block it.”

Kara admires the glint of the bracelet in the light from the tv, then burrows into Lena’s side and hugs her hard, just because she can. “Thank you,” she says again.

“I’ve been working on this ever since you told me about your problems with touch,” Lena says. “I just- I don’t want you to think that I only did this because we’re going out now.”

“The thought had never crossed my mind,” Kara says honestly.

“Oh,” Lena says, seeming a little surprised by that and Kara hugs her again, just for that unspoken worry.

Someday, she’ll be able to help Lena see herself the way Kara does. Until then, she’ll just have to keep reminding her.

She wriggles a little, glorying in the roughness of fabric against her skin, then begins squirming for another reason. She can touch everything. Everything can touch her. She feels real again - so very real. This is so like some of her fantasies that she has to quickly rush off to the toilet - slapping her feet on the wooden floor, gripping the seat hard enough to drive the blood from her fingers - to masturbate. Again.

When she comes back, Lena is smirking at her. “You do realise that you don’t have to hide what you’re doing from me,” she says.

“Why, would you like to watch?” Kara asks, grinning a little. “Oh,” she says when Lena casts her a dark eyed look. “Um, well, okay. I’ll bear that in mind for the future. In the mean time,” she says, looking a little coyly at Lena. “Would you like me to make you feel good?”

Lena immediately looks cautiously at her. “If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” Kara says. It’s a conversation they’ve had repeatedly the few times they’ve done this over the last several weeks. Intellectually, Kara does know and accept that this is sex, but it doesn’t feel that way. As long as it doesn’t involve her, she’s good.

She may not want Lena - not in that way - may never want her, but she certainly likes making her feel good. And Lena’s done so much for her today, how can she not want to return the favour?

She turns off the bracelet and pushes Lena’s top up so she can mouth at Lena’s breast through her bra. She may fantasise about not having powers, but they definitely have a certain utility during proceedings. Not needing to support herself as she pleasures Lena for a start.

More available limbs are always a win.

She happily smiles to herself, and starts playing a game with herself - seeing how many times she can make Lena squirm before she comes.

If their relationship is starting off this well, she can’t wait to see what happens next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena coming up with that particular application of the tech only occurred halfway through the story, by the way, even though I knew what she was working on way back before I even started.
> 
> I'm planning on a few other snippets in this universe. One of which I've already gotten written. The timing of the others might well depend on how much I can get written before Mass Effect: Andromeda hits. Don't expect anything like the rate of the last few chapters, of course. That was down to the fact that I've always been writing a couple of chapters ahead, because this has been a fairly intricate story for me, and there have often been revisions, things moved around and scenes added.
> 
> Please let me know if there's anything you think either particularly worked or didn't really work. This is definitely one of the stories I've been most nervous about.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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